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Some people feel that there is an urgent need of female in the field of science and technology. Do you agree with the statement? Explain your reasons with examples. v.1

Some people feel that there is an urgent need of female in the field of science and technology. Explain your reasons with examples. v. 1
Diversity plays an important role in the improvement of science and technology. Facts and figures say that there is a huge gender imbalance in the research, especially in science and technology and this really matters a lot. I believe there should be more women in the field of science and technology. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in this essay. To begin with, Scientific research is more accurate when gender is considered. There is no doubt that men are capable to do well in any field and produce good scientific data. However, women have a unique nature to see things and that is very crucial in research to have different opinions. For example, if there is research going on environmental issues, a woman can have very different approaches to deal with the issue. Moreover, Dr. Vera Regitz-Zagrosek ( a famous researcher ) explained it by giving a heart disease scenario. He asserts that heart disease symptoms can have very different in men and women, and also women can respond to it very differently than men. Similarly, Another leading proponent of gender in science is Prof. Londa Schiebinger of Stanford University, who gives the term “gendered innovations” to describe scientific discoveries enabled by including women as research subjects or by considering gender as a factor in the research. For example, artificial intelligence and machine learning have become a revolution in the field of science and technology. Fifteen percent of women are working in this field, if we want to avoid the bias then there should be more females writing the algorithm. To sum up, gender balance is an important facet of scientific research, hence I feel that there should be more women working in the science and technology not just to improve the accuracy of the data but also to remove the bias in the artificial intelligence and machine learning field.
Diversity plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Facts and figures say that there is a huge gender imbalance in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and this
really
matters a lot. I believe there should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. I feel this way for several reasons which I will explore in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is more accurate when gender
is considered
. There is no doubt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are capable to do well in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
data.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have a unique nature to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
things and
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions.
For example
, if there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
going on environmental issues, a woman can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
approaches to deal with the issue.
Moreover
, Dr. Vera
Possible spelling mistake found.
Regitz-Zagrosek
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
researcher
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
it by giving a heart disease scenario. He asserts that heart disease symptoms can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can respond to it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
differently
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Similarly
, Another leading proponent of gender in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is Prof.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Londa
Possible spelling mistake found.
Schiebinger
of Stanford University, who gives the term “gendered innovations” to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
discoveries enabled by including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
subjects or by considering gender as a factor in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
For example
, artificial intelligence and machine learning
This verb is used with the infinitive: "to have"
have
become a revolution in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Fifteen percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are working in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, if we want to avoid the bias then there should be more females writing the algorithm.

To sum up, gender balance is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facet of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
hence
I feel that there should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the accuracy of the data
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to remove the bias in the artificial intelligence and machine learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that there is an urgent need of female in the field of science and technology. Explain your reasons with examples. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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