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Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.8

Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 8
Outward appearance is not only important in personal life but also necessary in working life. Hence, a vigorous debate has been triggered over whether formal attire at the workplace has great significance than the quality of work. In my opinion, I believe that quality of work is more likely to have a high value above appearance. First, by requiring that employees dress smartly, it will give a professional impression, for it reflects the culture of the workplace. In other words, it means that the company takes their work seriously. Therefore, it provides confidence which associates with working efficiency. Moreover, dress smartly can raise morale among staff because it imposes discipline effectively, so dress smartly prevails friendly and positive attitude. As a result, formal attire contributes to having excellent manner and work success. However, quality of work cannot be overlooked. One of the main factor to boost productivity is the quality of work because it helps to achieve objectives of an organization. For example, in modern companies, such as Facebook, they give priorities to the quality of work rather than outward appearance. Mark Zuckerberg- the chief executive officer of Facebook- attends meeting dressing casual wear because he said that “he didn’t have time to choose clothes”, so he saves time for work in order to increase the output. Consequently, to meet the company aims, quality of work should be highly considered over formal attire. In conclusion, I believe that the appearance of employees has less value than quality of work. This is due to the quality of work play an important in growing profitability of organizations.
Outward appearance is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in personal life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
necessary in working life.
Hence
, a vigorous debate has
been triggered
over whether formal attire at the workplace has great significance than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is more likely to have a high value above appearance.

First
, by requiring that employees dress
smartly
, it will give a professional impression, for it reflects the culture of the workplace.
In other words
, it means that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
takes their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
seriously
.
Therefore
, it provides confidence which associates with working efficiency.
Moreover
, dress
smartly
can raise morale among staff
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it imposes discipline
effectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dress
smartly
prevails friendly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude.
As a result
, formal attire contributes to having excellent manner and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
success.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
cannot
be overlooked
.

One of the main factor to boost productivity is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to achieve objectives of an organization.
For example
, in modern
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, such as Facebook, they give priorities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than outward appearance. Mark Zuckerberg- the chief executive officer of Facebook- attends meeting dressing casual wear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he said that “he didn’t have time to choose clothes”,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he saves time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to increase the output.
Consequently
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
aims,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be
highly
considered over formal attire.

In conclusion
, I believe that the appearance of employees has less value than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. This is due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in growing profitability of organizations.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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