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Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. v. 2
Administering the value of education to one' s life has been an important possession no one could ever take. However, some people argue that privately owned schools should be totally replaced with government funded universities. In this light, several factors are now considered targeting the pro and cons of the proposed argument. The stare provides basic needs for its people which are mainly for health, safety and most especially for education. Public schools are rampant in such a way to accommodate thousands of students whose families could hardly afford to pay fees. In effect, most parents would prefer sending their children in colleges owned by the government to lessen their burden on finances seeing that public institutional learning mostly provide free tuition fees. On the other hand, may would agree that the quality if education private academies can offer could be practical, considering that learning resources are much more evident there. To illustrate this, numerous of successful professionals today studied from private schools and one cannot deny the fact that these institutions produces a well-rounded and universally competent individuals. Furthermore, the upper class families would opt to choose a more conducive for learning environment for their children. Some people suggest that it is better to have a smaller number of students in one room to enhance the learning capacities for students, enabling them to enhance more understanding and concentration on the subject matter. With the above-mentioned reasons, it is my belief that availability of both sectors would be the best course of action to consider as of the moment. Seeing that every family regardless of economic status have a free will to choose where would they hand down the future success and development of their children. To sum up, the highest quality of education people could ever achieve will all depends on themselves. Wherever learning institutions they may be still, it would make them a better person. Perhaps, it is what schools were expected to teach them after all.
Administering the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s life has been an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
possession no one could ever take.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should be
totally
replaced with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funded universities. In this light, several factors are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered targeting the pro and cons of the proposed argument.

The stare provides basic needs for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which are
mainly
for health, safety and most
especially
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are rampant in such a way to accommodate thousands of students whose families could hardly afford to pay fees. In effect, most parents would prefer sending their children in colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to lessen their burden on finances seeing that public institutional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
mostly
provide free tuition fees.

On the other hand
, may would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the quality if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
private academies can offer could be practical, considering that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
resources are much more evident there. To illustrate this, numerous of successful professionals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
studied from private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and one cannot deny the fact that these institutions produces a well-rounded and
universally
competent individuals.
Furthermore
, the upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families would opt to choose a more conducive for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
environment for their children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that it is better to have a smaller number of students in one room to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
capacities for students, enabling them to enhance more understanding and concentration on the
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
.

With the above-mentioned reasons, it is my belief that availability of both sectors would be the best course of action to consider as of the moment. Seeing that every family regardless of economic status have a free will to choose where would they hand down the future success and development of their children.

To sum up, the highest quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could ever achieve will all depends on themselves. Wherever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
institutions they may be
still
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a better person. Perhaps, it is what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to teach them
after all
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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