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Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. v. 1
We have been struggling with a business for over hundred years, which is the wood trend, and it has been supplied by cutting trees. Even though, merchants know that these trees, rather say forests are livers of the Earth, they use them and it is a beneficial business. So, it can not only hurt people, but also it is a great danger for animals who live there and make them homeless. So, both of them can be extinct after a while. Therefore, at least this commerce should be restricted, if it is not possible to be prevented. Animals have the right to get most of the world, as we are able. But, because of the selfishness of humans, a numerous kind of them are not alive. However, we are still murdering them in various ways. The most distinct method which killed them somehow not deliberately is to ruin their home, and of course their home is a jungle. Moreover, without a place to live they could not breed. So, they will be vanished gradually. Moreover, by destroying forests, we are going to change the ecosystem, and this will kill creatures that are depended on the climate and environment. For instance, the most types of birds make their nests in the branches of a tree, which is directly related to the wood. Also, changing ecosystem may change the humidity of a district and so many species can only live in a specific weather. Moreover, the life of humans also relies on the nature. The life cycle can be interrupted or even stop without the natural sources. Due to their roles in the instruction of life. In addition, the Oxygen has been produced by the leaves, and that is why we called plants the livers of the world. Therefore, without them, it is hard to breathe. A shining example is the fresh air that we breathe in greenbelt. Also, experts alarmed us about unexpected growing rate of creature, whereas another type is disappearing. As a conclusion, chopping trees has an obvious impact on all alive orgasms. So, more logging of the forests leads to more danger for them. Stopping this irresponsible action is a vital decision and progress towards sustaining the world. Indeed, this would be the last cautions for us to avoid this trend.
We have been struggling with a business for over hundred years, which is the wood trend, and it has
been supplied
by cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
.
Even though
, merchants know that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
,
rather
say forests are livers of the Earth, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them and it is a beneficial business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
hurt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for animals who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them homeless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, both of them can be extinct after a while.
Therefore
, at least this commerce should
be restricted
, if it is not possible to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
.

Animals have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
most of the world, as we are able.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the selfishness of humans, a numerous kind of them are not alive.
However
, we are
still
murdering them in various ways. The most distinct method which killed them somehow not
deliberately
is to ruin their home, and
of course
their home is a jungle.
Moreover
, without a place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
they could not breed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they will
be vanished
gradually
.
Moreover
, by destroying forests, we are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the ecosystem, and this will kill creatures that
are depended
on the climate and environment.
For instance
, the most types of birds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their nests in the branches of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
, which is
directly
related to the wood.
Also
, changing ecosystem may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the humidity of a district and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a specific weather.

Moreover
, the life of humans
also
relies on the nature. The life cycle can
be interrupted
or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
without the natural sources. Due to their roles in the instruction of life.
In addition
, the Oxygen has
been produced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
, and
that is
why we called plants the livers of the world.
Therefore
, without them, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to breathe. A shining example is the fresh air that we breathe in greenbelt.
Also
, experts alarmed us about unexpected growing rate of creature, whereas another type is disappearing.

As a conclusion, chopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
has an obvious impact on all alive orgasms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more logging of the forests leads to more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
for them. Stopping this irresponsible action is a vital decision and progress towards sustaining the world.
Indeed
, this would be the last cautions for us to avoid this trend.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the responsibility for providing education should be borne only by the government and that private education should be banned. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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