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Some people believe that online newspapers will one day replace traditional print newspapers completely. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people believe that online newspapers will one day replace traditional print newspapers completely. What is your opinion? v. 2
Nowadays, with the growing popularity of online information sources, it is often believed that the printing press will be no longer suitable for the new area. Personally, I completely agree with this belief since both readers and journalists can benefit from virtual newspapers. Firstly, audiences can enjoy great convenience from reading online newspapers. Online news is ubiquitous and easy to get access to since people just simply need a smart phone or an iPad and internet connection to read the news at their own convenience anywhere. By contrast, when reading physical newspapers, the reader has to buy them every day, which is really time – consuming. My father, for example, has a habit of reading a newspaper every morning before going to work. In the past, he had to go to the nearest newsagent which was three kilometers away from home, taking him 30 minutes to buy his favourite newspaper. However, with the popularity of newspapers on the Internet, he now can utilise that amount of time to read more news around the world at home instead of going to the newsstand. Secondly, the development of virtual newspapers makes journalists become more independent. It is obvious that with online versions, journalists can post news on their own websites instead of having to submit to the editor and then wait for their news to be published. An example is Hoang Minh Tri, who is a journalist on Facebook. Besides being a contributor to many prestigious online newspapers, such as VnExpress and Thanh Nien Online, he also posts many articles on education, business and social life on his personal Facebook page. His articles attract many readers’ interest and they are shared widely on this social networking site. Now he is a very popular and respected journalist and writer, who has more than 70 thousand followers on Facebook. In conclusion, with the advantages brought by online newspapers mentioned above, I believe the traditional printing press will be soon replaced by the online versions.
Nowadays, with the growing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
information sources, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that the printing press will be no longer suitable for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
area.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this belief since both readers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
can benefit from virtual newspapers.

Firstly
, audiences can enjoy great convenience from reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is ubiquitous and easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
simply
need a smart phone or an iPad and internet connection to read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience anywhere. By contrast, when reading physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, the reader
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them every day, which is
really
A dash was used instead of a hyphen. Did you mean: "time-consuming".
time – consuming
. My father,
for example
, has a habit of reading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
every morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
going to work. In the past, he had to go to the nearest newsagent which was three kilometers away from home, taking him 30 minutes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
his
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspaper
.
However
, with the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
on the Internet, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
that amount of time to read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
around the world at home
instead
of going to the newsstand.

Secondly
, the development of virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
become more independent. It is obvious that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
versions,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
can post
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
websites
instead
of having to submit to the editor and then wait for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to
be published
. An example is
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoang
Possible spelling mistake found.
Minh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tri
, who is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalist
on Facebook.
Besides
being a contributor to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
VnExpress
and Thanh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nien
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Online
, he
also
posts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
articles on education, business and social life on his personal Facebook page. His articles attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
readers’
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
interest and
they
are shared
widely
on this social networking site.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and respected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalist
and writer, who has more than 70 thousand followers on Facebook.

In conclusion
, with the advantages brought by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
mentioned above, I believe the traditional printing press will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
replaced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
versions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that online newspapers will one day replace traditional print newspapers completely. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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