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Some people say that the only reason for leaning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v.1

Some people say that the only reason for leaning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1
With the advanced education, the number of undergraduates has been increasing. Some insist that a number of university students only lead the unemployment rate of high-educated people to rise and it is not beneficial for society. Although I understand this opinion, I would argue that the large proportion of undergraduates has positive effects on society. Admittedly, there are some disadvantages to the increasing number of university students. To begin with, many young people may put pressure on having a bachelor's degree by themselves, even though they are not interested in university. For example, in Korea, almost people in modern society tend to go to the university after being graduated from high school even though some occupation does not require a diploma. Some people might not try to have enough time to think what they want to be. Therefore, some people could end up dropping out of their schools. As a result, they might lose tuition fees and their time to search for their goals. However, I still believe that well-educated people influence society positively. Programmes aimed at preparing global competition for employment help university students to find high quality job. Also, these well-educated people can improve their ability, competing with people who are from everywhere in university. It is a proved fact that intelligent people can bring about more benefit for economic growth than physical workers. As a result, developing the level of education can lead to a national growth in many ways. In conclusion, according to the aforementioned reasons, the increasing number of undergraduates might have a negative effect on individuals, but I believe that this should be seen as a positive development in many ways.
With the advanced education, the
number
of undergraduates has been increasing.
Some
insist that a
number
of
university
students
only
lead the unemployment rate of high-educated
people
to rise and it is not beneficial for society. Although I understand this opinion, I would argue that the large proportion of undergraduates has
positive
effects on society.

Admittedly
, there are
some
disadvantages to the increasing
number
of
university
students. To
begin
with,
many
young
people
may put pressure on having a bachelor's degree by themselves,
even though
they are not interested in
university
.
For example
, in Korea, almost
people
in modern society tend to go to the
university
after
being graduated
from high school
even though
some
occupation does not require a diploma.
Some
people
might not try to have
enough
time to
think
what they want to be.
Therefore
,
some
people
could
end
up dropping out of their schools.
As a result
, they might lose tuition fees and their time to search for their goals.

However
, I
still
believe that well-educated
people
influence society
positively
.
Programmes
aimed at preparing global competition for employment
help
university
students to find high quality job.
Also
, these well-educated
people
can
improve
their ability, competing with
people
who are from everywhere in
university
. It is a proved fact that intelligent
people
can bring about more benefit for economic growth than physical workers.
As a result
, developing the level of education can lead to a national growth in
many
ways.

In conclusion
, according to the aforementioned reasons, the increasing
number
of undergraduates might have a
negative
effect on individuals,
but
I believe that this should be
seen
as a
positive
development in
many
ways.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the only reason for leaning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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