Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v.2

Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 2
Nowadays, it is a unanimous notion that for some people that the legislation about marriage in terms of age should be at least 21. However, the others suppose that this rule is completely based on the fallacious opinion. In this essay, I will cite some arguments and give my stance on this issue. Firstly, the young who are going to marry should fathom the life painstakingly. Whilst the duration elapses the egregious plight and quandaries inculcate them to learn the new experiences in the mankind. For most people, in order to underpin this learning, the age limitation is one of the most paramount prerequisites. Because the person whose age is beneath 21 cannot adapt to the certain circumstances easily. Sometimes he will have to deal with tremendous problems and as an implication of it, he will abdicate his responsibilities. Subsequently, it can be rather perilous for his marriage in the future. On the other hand, everything is contingent upon the person himself and if he is trustworthy, nothing can cease him from attaining the authentic pinnacle of his marriage. In such condition, the responsibility plays a major role. In spite of the age difference, at times younger people’s marriage becomes happier than those who are older. Because of it, they are so ebullient and their love is rather strong in order to struggle with the difficulties. As a result, these features bring to the stupendous fruition about their marriage. Taking all things into account, it seems to me that the age is not a big problem for a happy marriage. The main issue is the dearth of love and responsibility that contribute to the augmenting divorce rate.
Nowadays, it is a unanimous notion that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the legislation about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
should be at least 21.
However
, the others suppose that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
is completely based on the fallacious opinion. In this essay, I will cite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments and give my stance on this issue.

Firstly
, the young who are going to marry should fathom the life
painstakingly
. Whilst the duration elapses the egregious plight and quandaries inculcate them to learn the new experiences in the mankind. For most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, in order to underpin this learning, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limitation is one of the most paramount prerequisites.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
the person whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is beneath 21 cannot adapt to the certain circumstances
easily
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
he will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with tremendous problems and as an implication of it, he will abdicate his responsibilities.
Subsequently
, it can be
rather
perilous for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
in the future.

On the other hand
, everything is contingent upon the person himself and if he is trustworthy, nothing can cease him from attaining the authentic pinnacle of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. In such condition, the responsibility plays a major role.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
difference, at times younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
becomes happier than those who are older.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of it, they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ebullient and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is
rather
strong in order to struggle with the difficulties.
As a result
, these features bring to the stupendous fruition about their marriage.

Taking all things into account, it seems to me that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is not a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
. The main issue is the dearth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and responsibility that contribute to the augmenting divorce rate.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts