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Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others contest those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. What is your position? Discuss v.4

Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others contest those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. What is your position? Discuss v. 4
Learning a second language is one of the most difficult experiences that people live in the other country. Some people believe that people living abroad can have difficulty adapting a society and it can lead to many practical problems. I will agree that it is possible for people living in the other country to have some problems. To begin with, it takes a long time to be accustomed to speaking a new language in the other country. There are some reports showing that it will take at least 5 years to speak like native speakers. Therefore, many immigrants have the problems of adaptation and isolation because they can’t communicate with people as much as what they want. Hence, I have asserted that it is easy to face some social problems, such as maladaptation and isolation. Secondly, people have their own unique and traditional cultures based on their own countries. Therefore, they can experience cultural conflicts in the other country because they have never experienced a different culture. For example, Koreans think that when they have problems, they prefer to complain than to be silent. However, the British don’t like being rude and arguing, so they tend to not complain. Likewise, people can misunderstand each other easily and it can cause culture shocks or conflicts. In conclusion, there are no doubts that it is very difficult to live abroad because they can’t speak a new language fluently. Furthermore, there have been proven many instances about that people can have difficulty, such as isolation and cultural conflicts. So, I think that People should deal with this social and practical problem.
Learning a second language is one of the most difficult experiences that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
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other
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country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living abroad can have difficulty adapting a society and it can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical
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problems
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is possible for
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people
living in the
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it takes a long time to
be accustomed
to speaking a new language in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reports showing that it will take at least 5 years to speak like native speakers.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
immigrants have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of adaptation and isolation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can’t communicate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as much as what they want.
Hence
, I have asserted that it is easy to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as
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maladaptation
and isolation.

Secondly
,
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people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique and traditional cultures based on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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countries
.
Therefore
, they can experience cultural conflicts in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have never experienced a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture.
For example
, Koreans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that when they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, they prefer to complain than to be silent.
However
, the British don’t like being rude and arguing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they tend to not complain.
Likewise
,
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people
can misunderstand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
easily
and it can cause culture shocks or conflicts.

In conclusion
, there are no doubts that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
abroad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can’t speak a new language
fluently
.
Furthermore
, there have
been proven
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have difficulty, such as isolation and cultural conflicts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should deal with this social and practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments. Others contest those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit. What is your position? Discuss v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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