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The maps below show the changes experienced by the town of Horton at the beginning of the 21st Century v.1

The maps below show the changes experienced by the town of Horton at the beginning of the 21st Century v. 1
So far, 65 years is the standard age of retirement, for every employee, without considering their occupation, which is injustice, asserted by folks as they consider, certain workers must get retirement and their savings early to the standard age. As I believe, to get retire before the time can be considerate in regards of duties, however, if everyone has desires of early resting, then it seems quite unfair in perspective of discipline. Usually, soldiers are found in borders or in camps, despite of their homes throughout the whole life and on account of it, they deserve early relief from the services. While manifesting the norms, government ought to opine about job environment. Often, it is noticed that, every job has own traits, it could be amusing or stressful too. As I observed, many of the adolescents admit themselves, into the army enthusiastically, but gradually, their life resort to a survival, moreover, they keep catering the nation, regardless of their livings. Hence authorities ought to be considerate for their benefits. On the other hand, plenty of working profiles are intriguing, and their facile and comfort style succour an employee, to touch the deadline of the working period, calmly. Nowadays, dancing and singing are one of those vocations, where entertainment industries could be cramped, with the talents, even after 65 years. For instance, several artists remain employed into their passion for the lifetime, thus being idle, before the age is not recommendable for all professionals. To conclude, taking release from the responsibilities, prior to the assigned period could be acceptable for an individual, only after analysing the degree of task's difficulties. Labours, who might be eligible for prior relaxation can spend hours and wealth for their families, who always suffered during their tough decades.
So
far, 65 years is the standard age of retirement, for every employee, without considering their occupation, which is injustice, asserted by folks as they consider, certain workers
must
get
retirement and their savings early to the standard age. As I believe, to
get
retire
before
the time can be considerate
in regards of
duties,
however
, if everyone has desires of early resting, then it seems quite unfair in perspective of discipline.
Usually
, soldiers
are found
in borders or in camps,
despite of
their homes throughout the whole life and on account of it, they deserve early relief from the services.

While manifesting the norms,
government
ought to opine about job environment.
Often
, it
is noticed
that, every job has
own
traits, it could be amusing or stressful too. As I observed,
many
of the adolescents admit themselves, into the army
enthusiastically
,
but
gradually
, their life resort to a survival,
moreover
, they
keep
catering the nation, regardless of their livings.
Hence
authorities ought to be considerate for their benefits.

On the other hand
,
plenty
of working profiles are intriguing, and their facile and comfort style
succour
an employee, to touch the deadline of the working period,
calmly
. Nowadays, dancing and singing are one of those vocations, where entertainment industries could
be cramped
, with the talents, even after 65 years.
For instance
, several artists remain employed into their passion for the lifetime,
thus
being idle,
before
the age is not recommendable for all professionals.

To conclude
, taking release from the responsibilities, prior to the assigned period could be acceptable for an individual,
only
after
analysing
the degree of task's difficulties.
Labours
, who might be eligible for prior relaxation can spend hours and wealth for their families, who always suffered during their tough decades.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The maps below show the changes experienced by the town of Horton at the beginning of the 21st Century v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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