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Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
There is no doubt that usually people need friends in their lives. While some believe that good peers should be like-minded in their interests, I would agree with those who argue that there should be some differences in their thinking. Admittedly, people who believe that friends ought to have similar viewpoints may argue that this does not create any rifts between their relationship and last longer. Because of having a similar point of views, they get along very well for longer periods. For example, a survey in US concludes that the arguments among close peers may lead to tensions and thus might eventually move apart. When there is no mutual agreement among two close friends, there is a possibility that they may fall out of the relationship. Nevertheless, I agree with those who argue that there should be some differences in how a person opine. It is necessary to have someone who disagrees with us as this might help sometimes to open up a different prospective in our lives. Even though there are tensions among friendship, few get along like a house on fire. Furthermore, having a different opinion guides the other person on the right path. As a result, this helps in developing a great acquaintanceship. For example, it is said that a person who is a friend since seven or more years becomes a family member. In conclusion, although having similar views does not create any downs in a friendship leading to longer time span, but I think that having some disagreements leads to a true closeness between two people which later turns into a family relation.
There is no doubt that
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
peers should be like-minded in their interests, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences in their thinking.

Admittedly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
ought to have similar viewpoints may argue that this does not create any rifts between their relationship and last longer.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a similar point of views, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well for longer periods.
For example
, a survey in US concludes that the arguments among close peers may lead to tensions and
thus
might
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
apart. When there is no mutual agreement among two close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, there is a possibility that they may fall out of the relationship.

Nevertheless
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
argue that there should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences in how a person opine. It is necessary to have someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
disagrees with us as this might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to open up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
prospective in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Even though
there are tensions among friendship, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
along like a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
on fire.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion guides the other person on the right path.
As a result
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing a great acquaintanceship.
For example
, it
is said
that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
since seven or more years becomes a family member.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
similar views does not create any downs in a friendship leading to longer time span,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagreements leads to a true closeness between two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which later turns into a family relation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people choose to live alone. What do you think the advantages of living alone are and do they outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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