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Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience v.9

Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. 9
Some natives are of opinion that privacy of the celebrities should not come under the scrutiny of the media. However, others argue that they should accept it as a part of their fame. I think media should understand the importance of privacy in their life. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the reporting and un reporting of their privacy with my opinion. On the one hand, media should understand the importance of privacy in their life, as they also want some space from their role of an entertainer and lead a simple life. Moreover, sometimes media report false information about the celebrity to the public, which directly impacts their career. Thus, it leads to depression and even in some worst cases, some celebrities commit suicide. Besides this, the media even invade privacy of their kids and brought them in the limelight due to which, they do not feel free when they go public which deprive their innocence and make them mature soon. On the other hand, celebrities should accept it as a part of their job because when they signed as a famous personality, they must know they are coming under the billions of cameras. Hence, they should not become hesitant towards coverage. Furthermore, they are the role model of youth due to which, they are always keen to know about their celebrities such as their likes, dislikes, struggle etc. Which motive them to do hard work and persuade a successful life. Last but not the least, it is also the mediumalso the medium for these personalities to share their opinion and private life to the public. In conclusion, I think it should be in the hand of celebrities like what, when and how much they want to disclose about their private life and Media also understand the need of privacy in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
natives are of opinion that privacy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under the scrutiny of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
However
, others argue that they should accept it as a part of their fame. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should understand the importance of privacy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This essay will discuss the reasons behind the reporting and
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
reporting of their privacy with my opinion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should understand the importance of privacy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as they
also
want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
space from their role of an entertainer and lead a simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
report false information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrity
to the public, which
directly
impacts their career.
Thus
, it leads to depression and even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worst cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
commit suicide.
Besides
this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
even invade privacy of their kids and brought them in the limelight due to which, they do not feel free when they go public which deprive their innocence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
should accept it as a part of their job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they signed as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
personality, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know they are coming under the billions of cameras.
Hence
, they should not become hesitant towards coverage.
Furthermore
, they are the role model of youth due to which, they are always keen to know about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
such as their likes, dislikes, struggle etc. Which motive them to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and persuade a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, it is
also
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
mediumalso
the medium for these personalities to share their opinion and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the public.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it should be in the hand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
like what, when and how much they want to disclose about their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
also
understand the need of privacy in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that paparazzi should not follow celebrities and invade their privacy by taking pictures of them everywhere, while others believe this is just the price of fame. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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