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Some people feel that manufacturers and super markets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Other agree that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. Discuss both views, and give your opinion. v.1

Some people feel that manufacturers and super markets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Other agree that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. v. 1
It is controversial issues as to whether the public abstains from purchasing products with lots of wrappings, or, whether the producers and supermarkets should be careful in packaging any goods that several Styrofoams, papers, or plastic do not go in one product. From my perspective, packaging is, completely, depending on the companies' manufacturers so that they ought to be attentive in this regard rather than clients. To begin with, these days, most of the manufacturing industries are producing different types of products such as gift hampers, household appliances, fabrics et Cetra that are wrapped with various sorts of foil papers. The reason is that if they cover their products with different substances, like plastics, papers, Styrofoams respectively, it will be protected during transportation time. However, they should have to observe the negative consequences of extra packaging, which causes pollution in the environment. Moreover, if they use less plastic over in products, it reduces the greater amount of the costs of producing goods. As a result, it will be carried in a facile manner. Therefore, all the shoppers and product management teams have to be concerned with excessive wrapping of products. On the other hand, it is justifiable to say that clients need to avoid buying items, which have lots of wrappings. However, at times, it becomes essential for the people who cannot abstain themselves in taking those extra-wrapped objects. For example, in the USA, the kitchen tools are level with different types of extra layers, which the client has nothing do to but buy these electronic appliances. For that reason, the company has to be careful not to use too many extra boxes at the time of transportation. This is because clients will neither avoid purchasing the necessities of life, nor throw this extra paper in safe places which would help not to pollute the atmosphere. In conclusion, although how much extra packets should add to a product rely on the manufacturers and high raised markets, some people believe that the public must retain products which are less in wrapping. In my opinion, companies have better look into products as if it contains only one wrapping instead of the public.
It is controversial issues
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
the public abstains from purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrappings
, or, whether the producers and supermarkets should be careful in packaging any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that several Styrofoams, papers, or plastic do not go in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. From my perspective, packaging is, completely, depending on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' manufacturers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they ought to be attentive in this regard
rather
than clients.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, these days, most of the manufacturing industries are producing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as gift hampers, household appliances,
Possible spelling mistake found.
fabrics et
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cetra
that
are wrapped
with various sorts of foil papers. The reason is that if they cover their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
substances, like plastics, papers, Styrofoams
respectively
, it will
be protected
during transportation time.
However
, they should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
observe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
packaging, which causes pollution in the environment.
Moreover
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less plastic over in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the greater amount of the costs of producing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
As a result
, it will
be carried
Consider replacing "in a facile manner" with the adverb for "facile"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a facile manner
.
Therefore
, all the shoppers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
management teams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be concerned
with excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrapping
of products.

On the other hand
, it is justifiable to say that clients need to avoid buying items, which have lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrappings
.
However
, at times, it becomes essential for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who cannot abstain themselves in taking those extra-wrapped objects.
For example
, in the USA, the kitchen tools are level with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
layers, which the client has nothing do to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these electronic appliances. For that reason, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be careful not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
boxes at the time of transportation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
clients will neither avoid purchasing the necessities of life, nor throw this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
paper in safe places which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not to pollute the atmosphere.

In conclusion
, although how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
packets should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
rely on the manufacturers and high raised markets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
retain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are less in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrapping
. In my opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have better look into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as if it contains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wrapping
instead
of the public.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that manufacturers and super markets have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Other agree that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packaging. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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