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Some people feel that humans should be able to dig for oil anywhere, as long as it benefits mankind. Other believes that certain areas of land should be reserved for animals use. Which do you think is better? v.2

Some people feel that humans should be able to dig for oil anywhere, as long as it benefits mankind. Other believes that certain areas of land should be reserved for animals use. Which do you think is better? v. 2
The question is whether human beings should excavate every point of land to obtain oil and gas or they have to preserve some areas for animal' s life. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however, I am inclined to declare that saving and supporting animals can be more effective not only for animals, but also for next generation of humans. I feel this way for some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay to strengthen my point of view: To begin with, nobody could overlook that animals play a crucial and pivotal role in people' s life. Food industry strongly depends on animals to supply needed food of the world. On the other hand, with improving technology, the drug industry has been optimized in recent years; therefore, researchers are attempting to apply some animals' toxic, enzyme and cells to produce the medicine products. Such a lovely population helps the nations to empower the economic circumstance such as a powerful role in the trade like importing and exporting beasts' skin, feathers and fur and list goes on. One should not forget that all of this condition will be useful until we do not exaggerate in using animals. In short, if oil explorers dig numerous lands, spontaneously the animals' habitat will be destroyed and it goes without saying that their population will reduce. Second reason for my claim lies the fact that oil excavation procedure can have destructive consequence in environment. One should notice that when oil is exploited from underground, it can leak to rocks, vegetables and around areas. Such a harmful pollution will be able to decline the animals' density in an area; subsequently, they would rather migrate to other regions to cope with this problem. By the same token this occurrence will impinge on the ecology of area negatively. The epitome of this is that some plants rely on some animals, birds or insects for pollinating. If there are not the organisms to help them in spreading their seeds or spores, plants population will also dwindle and even more they may be extinct. In conclusion, I strongly believe that conserving of animals' habitats is vital as much as gaining natural resources such as oil and gas. One should, nevertheless, take this issue into account as a key factor in human' s future. Nowadays since people are superseding electricity for daily consumptions in vehicles or heating; as a result, discovering a large number of areas for oil can be useless and even adverse.
The question is whether human beings should excavate every point of land to obtain
oil
and
gas or
they
have to
preserve
some
areas
for
animal&
#039; s life. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
, I
am inclined
to declare that saving and supporting
animals
can be more effective not
only
for
animals
,
but
also
for
next
generation of humans. I feel this way for
some
reasons, which I will explore them in following essay to strengthen my point of view:

To
begin
with, nobody could overlook that
animals
play a crucial and pivotal role in
people&
#039; s life. Food industry
strongly
depends on
animals
to supply needed food of the world.
On the other hand
, with improving technology, the drug industry has
been optimized
in recent years;
therefore
, researchers are attempting to apply
some
animals&
#039; toxic, enzyme and cells to produce the medicine products. Such a lovely population
helps
the nations to empower the economic circumstance such as a powerful role in the trade like importing and exporting
beasts&
#039; skin, feathers and fur and list goes on. One should not forget that all of this condition will be useful until we do not exaggerate in using
animals
. In short, if
oil
explorers dig numerous lands,
spontaneously
the
animals&
#039; habitat will be
destroyed
and it goes without saying that their population will
reduce
.

Second reason for my claim lies the fact that
oil
excavation procedure can have destructive consequence in environment. One should notice that when
oil
is exploited
from underground, it can leak to rocks, vegetables and around
areas
. Such a harmful pollution will be able to decline the
animals&
#039; density in an
area
;
subsequently
, they would
rather
migrate to other regions to cope with this problem. By the same token this occurrence will impinge on the ecology of
area
negatively
. The epitome of this is that
some
plants rely on
some
animals
, birds or insects for pollinating. If there are not the organisms to
help
them in spreading their seeds or spores, plants population will
also
dwindle and even more they may be extinct.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that conserving of
animals&
#039; habitats is vital as much as gaining natural resources such as
oil
and gas. One should,
nevertheless
, take this issue into account as a key factor in
human&
#039; s future. Nowadays since
people
are superseding electricity for daily
consumptions
in vehicles or heating;
as a result
, discovering
a large number of
areas
for
oil
can be useless and even adverse.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that humans should be able to dig for oil anywhere, as long as it benefits mankind. Other believes that certain areas of land should be reserved for animals use. Which do you think is better? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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