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do you agree or disagree? people should buy things made in their own country, even if they are more expensive than things made in other countries. v.114

people should buy things made in their own country, even if they are more expensive than things made in other countries. v. 114
The question is whether people should buy things made in their own country, even if they are more expensive than things made in other countries or not. Everyone with regard to pros and cons of this issue and also his private opinion can maintain a specific direction toward this view. I strongly affirm that supporting from national production will not only affect on country' s progress, but also it can alter our life. My arguments are listed below which will strengthen my point of view: To begin with, It is axiomatic that purchasing inner products plays a crucial role in reducing unemployment. When people would rather choose their needed things in among things are made in country, spontaneously the factories and companies will confront a huge mass of demands; hence a request for attracting human force will be created. On the other hand, the companies and other economics organizations will avoid bankruptcy. Consequently when the economics of country optimize, its effects will be revealed in all sections of country and even families’ life. The second reason that I advocate this idea lies in the fact that there is a certain rule in marketing related with quality. If a factory arrives to a peak of selling, gradually its managers make a decision based on boosting quality of product. It goes without saying that such a quality, will not only make people satisfied, but also it can absorb other countries' attention toward itself, and subsequently exporting industry will be improved. I am going to empower my claims with following discussion. Nobody could overlook this reality that when a country obtains enough money from its economics, it will be able to provide numerous facilities for people as building up a great number of universities, hospitals, national parks, trade roots and list goes on. It is an undeniable fact that such a community has ability of competition with other communities. By taking all above mentioned arguments, this conclusion could be drawn that people with procuring internal goods help to their economics country for providing an ideal life for them.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things made in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, even if they are more expensive than things made in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or not. Everyone with regard to pros and cons of this issue and
also
his private opinion can maintain a specific direction toward this view. I
strongly
affirm that supporting from national production will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s progress,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can alter our life. My arguments
are listed
below which will strengthen my point of view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is axiomatic that purchasing inner products plays a crucial role in reducing unemployment. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
rather
choose their needed things in among things
are made
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
spontaneously
the factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will confront a huge mass of demands;
hence
a request for attracting human force will
be created
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
organizations will avoid bankruptcy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
optimize, its effects will
be revealed
in all sections of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and even families’ life.

The second reason that I advocate this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
lies in the fact that there is a certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in marketing related with quality. If a factory arrives to a peak of selling,
gradually
its managers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision based on boosting quality of product. It goes without saying that such a quality, will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfied,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can absorb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
countries&
#039; attention toward itself, and
subsequently
exporting industry will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

I am going to empower my claims with following discussion. Nobody could overlook this reality that when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
obtains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
, it will be able to provide numerous facilities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as building up a great number of universities, hospitals, national parks, trade roots and list goes on. It is an undeniable fact that such a community has ability of competition with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
communities.

By taking all above mentioned arguments, this conclusion could
be drawn
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with procuring internal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for providing an ideal life for them.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay people should buy things made in their own country, even if they are more expensive than things made in other countries. v. 114

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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