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In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. v. 2
It is sometimes argued that both male and female students will be taken advantage when they are trained in a single-sex school. While I agree with this assertion, I do not believe that dividing into two types of school is an effective way for children. On the one hand, mixed schools can draw negative impacts on the educational system. Firstly, male chauvinism albeit is being against fiercely, this conception still exist in some public schools. For example, when hosting sports events, some kind of sports like football or basketball is only for boys. Therefore, female undergraduates are likely to be limited in some aspects at school if they study with male counterparts. Secondly, by separating two types of school, students will only concentrate on their study instead of falling head over heels in love. For instance, in my secondary school, a girl who is only in grade eight aborting twice, and she had to stop her studying. As a result, students in single-sex schools are able to perform better in academics because they are not conscious of themselves and are less distracted. On the other hand, coed education also offers a great array of positive sides for both genders. One benefit is that they can share different ideas together because studies claim that boys differ from girls. For example, boys are said to be better than girls when it comes to Math while females are better in communications skills and Language than males, so mixed schools give them chances to support their strengths to their partners. Another benefit is that co-educational schools can promote socialization since they are used to talk and interact with the opposite sex daily. This can help them not to find it hard to deal with different kind of people in the future. In conclusion, while I agree that single-sex schools bring a wide range of benefits for school children, I believe wholeheartedly that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that both male and female students will
be taken
advantage when they
are trained
in a single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion, I do not believe that dividing into two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is an effective way for children.

On the one hand, mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can draw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the educational system.
Firstly
, male chauvinism albeit is being against
fiercely
, this conception
still
exist in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For example
, when hosting sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of sports like football or basketball is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for boys.
Therefore
, female undergraduates are likely to
be limited
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
if they study with male counterparts.
Secondly
, by separating two types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, students will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
concentrate on their study
instead
of falling head over heels in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
For instance
, in my secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, a girl who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in grade eight
Possible agreement error. The noun 'aborting' seems to be countable, so consider using: "aborts".
aborting
twice, and she had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
her studying.
As a result
, students in single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are able to perform better in academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not conscious of themselves and are less distracted.

On the other hand
, coed education
also
offers a great array of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides for both genders. One benefit is that they can share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
studies claim that boys differ from girls.
For example
, boys
are said
to be better than girls when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to Math while females are better in communications
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and Language than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
give them chances to support their strengths to their partners. Another benefit is that co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can promote socialization since they are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to talking".
used to talk
and interact with the opposite sex daily. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them not to find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that single-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
bring a wide range of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children, I believe
wholeheartedly
that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay In many parts of the world girls and boys are educated together in co-educational or mixed schools. Some people think that girls and boys benefit from being educated separately in single-sex schools. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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