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In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v.1

In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v. 1
Although saving money was taught to be a part of growing up in children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now. This essay agrees that children in the past were taught to be wise with their spending and were encouraged different ways to save when compared to those now. In recent years, children find it easier to spend on things they want to buy. This reason can be influenced by many factors such as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents need to teach their children different ways of saving from a younger age and make them understand the importance of it, so that this will help them in the future. For example, I remember growing up, collecting money in a piggy bank for a period of three months. I would start saving every penny I got rather than spending it on candy. I would look forward to the end of this period and get so excited to use the cash and buy something I really wanted. This habit made me realize the importance of saving. It also helped me become more patient as well as to understand the value of what I bought. Since I understood the importance of saving, it helped me save and budget when I had to be independent through college and university. Youngsters need to understand the difference between ‘wants and needs’ before spending, it teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should positively encourage and educate children to make right choices of spending on the important needs in life. While growing up, it is important to help them understand the values of saving for needs until they reach a certain level of maturity and independence. Children in poorer countries such as Africa for example can’t afford to even spend on basic average needs like water, food, books and clothes. Parents play an important role in to cultivate this habit because as children they will make poor choices due to the lack of understanding. To conclude, our children need to learn to spend wisely and make smart choices rather than blindly spending money on things that are not beneficial to them long term.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
money
was taught
to be a part of growing up in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past
in comparison
to those who more
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past
were taught
to be wise with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
and
were encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to save when compared to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find it easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on things they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. This reason can
be influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
from a younger age and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the importance of it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future.
For example
, I remember growing up, collecting money in a piggy bank for a period of three months. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
every penny I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
it on candy. I would look forward to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this period and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the cash and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something I
really
wanted. This habit made me realize the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me become more patient
as well
as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the value of what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. Since I understood the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me save and budget when I had to be independent through college and university.

Youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the difference between ‘wants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
, it teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should
positively
encourage and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
right choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in life. While growing up, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
until they reach a certain level of maturity and independence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
in poorer countries such as Africa
for example
can’t afford to even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
on basic average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
like water, food, books and clothes. Parents play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in to cultivate this habit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
poor choices due to the lack of understanding.

To conclude
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
wisely
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
smart choices
rather
than
blindly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
money on things that are not beneficial to them long term.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In the past children were taught how to save money, but today they only learn how to spend it. Do you agree v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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