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Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? v.1

Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. with this? v. 1
When considering the effects of technology on our quality of life, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue. Some people believe that modern developments, such as the cellphones, tablets and computers, have a negative effect on our lifestyle. Others, including myself, think that technological appliances have an important role in improving our lifes. In the following essay, I will provide arguments and examples to support my opinion. One of the main daily functions, where modern technologies have improved people's quality of life, is cooking. For many years, cooking was a long process, often taking hours, and even days, in order to make basic materials, such as bread, jam and cheese. With the introduction of modern machines, like the mixer, refrigerator and electrical stove, these processes have shortend substantially, which gives people much more leisor time. The process of making bread for example, that previously required at least two hours, can now be done by pressing a button in a bread making machine. This example illustrates that modern machines allow us to have much more free time, consequently improving our lifestyle. Another example supporting my opinion is that modern technologies permits people to enjoy many leisor activites, such as seeing a movies, playing video games, and reading news on the internet. While in previous years, people had to go to the local book store in order to buy the daily newspaper or other reading materials, nowadays people can read the media instantly online. Similarly, modern technologies allow people to enjoy high quality movies in their homes, by using flat screen televisions and surround sount systems, rather than going to the cinema. This illustrates, that modern developments provides people with new leisor activites at home, which were not evailable previously. In conclusion, I believe that modern appliances improve people's lifstyle by shorting daily processes, and providing new activities at home, which were not possible before. Further technological development will also be beneficial, and should be promoted.
When considering the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
on our quality of life, one should bear in mind the complexity of the issue.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
developments, such as the cellphones, tablets and computers, have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our lifestyle. Others, including myself,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that technological appliances have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in improving our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
. In the following essay, I will provide arguments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
to support my opinion.

One of the main daily functions, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's quality of life, is cooking. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years, cooking was a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
taking hours, and even days, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
basic materials, such as bread, jam and cheese. With the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machines, like the mixer, refrigerator and electrical stove, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
shortend
substantially
, which gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisor
time. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of making bread for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, that previously required at least two hours, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be done
by pressing a button in a bread making machine. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
illustrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
machines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to have much more free time,
consequently
improving our lifestyle.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
supporting my opinion is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
permits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisor
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
, such as seeing
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a movie" or simply "movies"?
a movies
, playing video games, and reading news on the internet. While in previous years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to go to the local book store in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the daily newspaper or other reading materials, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can read the media
instantly
online.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to enjoy high quality movies in their homes, by using flat screen televisions and surround
Possible spelling mistake found.
sount
systems,
rather
than going to the cinema. This illustrates, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
developments provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with new
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisor
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
at home, which were not
Possible spelling mistake found.
evailable
previously.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake found.
lifstyle
by shorting daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
processes
, and providing new activities at home, which were not possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Further
technological development will
also
be beneficial, and should
be promoted
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern appliances in the home have become more common, leaving no doubt that advances in technology have improved our lifestyle. with this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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