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Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. v.3

Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. v. 3
It seems that schools which have dormitory are great opportunity for students, on the other side many people conflict with (or oppose) some causes. This essay will discuss both views and give a conclusion. On the one hand, those who do not support the boarding school mention a number of disadvantages that affects to pupils. These range from being less free time to living without a family. For example, some students who study in boarding school say that it feels like more prisoner than student. That means the students do not have enough leisure time and cannot spend their time for what they really want. Furthermore, living separate from their parents is too cruel for them, especially for elementary school students. By contrast, these boarding schools give an excellent option for students who can see it like a great opportunity which would make them well-educated than others. Nowadays, most of the parents are extremely busy which makes they couldn’t pay full attention to children’s education. That’s why modern families prefer this kind of school. In addition, there are a lot more positive influences for disciplines such as being more independent, concentrated, experienced, responsible and stable. Finally, many graduates said that boarding schools have finest training program, facilities and resources, which make them popular in the society. Overall, it seems advisable that the decision to attend a boarding school would be a better option but it is important that being aware of the negative influences. Also Parents should help with advising as well and give a choice to children to make their own decision.
It seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
which have dormitory are great opportunity for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, on the other side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
conflict with (or oppose)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes. This essay will discuss both views and give a conclusion.

On the one hand, those who do not support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
mention a number of disadvantages that affects to pupils. These range from being less free time to living without a family.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
say that it feels like more prisoner than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
. That means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
leisure time and cannot spend their time for what they
really
want.
Furthermore
, living separate from their parents is too cruel for them,
especially
for elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students.

By contrast, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
give an excellent option for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it like a great opportunity which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
Use "(well-educated)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
well-educated
than others. Nowadays, most of the parents are
extremely
busy which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
they couldn’t pay full attention to children’s education. That’s why modern families prefer this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
In addition
, there are a lot more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influences for disciplines such as being more independent, concentrated, experienced, responsible and stable.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have
A determiner is probably missing here: "the finest".
finest
training program, facilities and resources, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them popular in the society.

Overall
, it seems advisable that the decision to attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
would be a better option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that being aware of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
Parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with advising
as well
and give a choice to children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decision.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that boarding schools (where students or pupils live at the school during the term) are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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