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Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. v. 1
Constructing buildings is a complex process that needs to cater to the primary purpose of the construction as well as the requirement of looking distinguished. While some buildings successfully integrate both, some however are inclined towards only one of the two factors. This essay shall discuss the relevant conditions for constructing a building. There are a lot of examples in the world regarding buildings that are artistically rich as well as sturdy in their construction. The Florence Cathedral in Italy, the Taj Mahal in India, the palace of Westminster in England are renowned examples of cultural symbols and works of art in the field of architecture, along with being sufficiently equipped to serve the primary cause of their establishment. These buildings are many decades old, but are still standing strong and for this reason they are famous worldwide. Therefore we can say that building any structure with both purpose and art is not rare. On the contrary, the world has also seen many architectural disasters that were caused due to poor planning and construction, even though they were intended to be an assembly of artwork. A near-accurate guess can be that the architects put so much emphasis on the appearance of the building that they neglected the other important features that need to be well thought-out as well. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a stark example of how the foundations of the building weren’t paid adequate attention, resulting that the building couldn’t hold up its own weight. Many such buildings have suffered collapses due to serious miscalculations in the architectural planning. These illustrations make us wonder whether appearance should totally be sidelined for structural stability of any building. In my view, I feel a building should be a combination of style and stability. The primary purpose of a building and the appearance both should be kept in mind while planning and equal weight age should be given to both.
Constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is a complex process that needs to cater to the primary purpose of the construction as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the requirement of looking distinguished. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
successfully
integrate both,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
however
are inclined
towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one of the two factors. This essay shall discuss the relevant conditions for constructing a building.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
examples in the world regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
that are
artistically
rich as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as sturdy in their construction. The Florence Cathedral in Italy, the Taj Mahal in India, the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
palace of Westminster
in England
are renowned
examples of cultural symbols and works of art in the field of architecture, along with being
sufficiently
equipped to serve the primary cause of their establishment. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
decades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are
still
standing strong and
for this reason
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
worldwide.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
we can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
any structure with both purpose and art is not rare.

On the contrary
, the world has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
architectural disasters that
were caused
due to poor planning and construction,
even though
they
were intended
to be an assembly of artwork. A near-accurate guess can be that the architects put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much emphasis on the appearance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
that they neglected the other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
features that need to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-out as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a stark example of how the foundations of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
weren’t paid adequate attention, resulting that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
couldn’t hold up its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
weight.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have suffered collapses due to serious miscalculations in the architectural planning. These illustrations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us wonder whether appearance should
totally
be sidelined
for structural stability of any building.

In my view, I feel a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
should be a combination of style and stability. The primary purpose of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and the appearance both should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind while planning and equal weight age should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to both.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some believe buildings should be built in a way that serves their purpose rather than just look beautiful. Others, however, say buildings should represent art too. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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