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Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. v.2

Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. v. 2
Some people believe that technology is negatively influencing the way people live and it is a manipulating tool as they are starting to control our lifestyle. Others, however, hold the view that it has a lot of benefits to the humankind, despite some cons. This essay will discuss both views before drawing a reasonable conclusion. Technology is dramatically shaping the way people live and making our life easier and more comfortable. Every day, tech developers are announcing new and innovative tech gadgets that are quite easy to use, handy, innovative and effective. These gadgets improve people's lives significantly and we have a better lifestyle than the past due to this discovery and improvements in technology. For instance, mobile phones have been improved noticeably in terms of performance and usefulness. Nowadays, they're being used in every aspect of life including paying bills, making reminders, taking notes, communicating online, surfing the internet and for many other practical purposes. Furthermore, technology is even used in defence, research, treatment, education. The modern world is the blessing of the technological advancements. On the other hand, modern world might have many blessings due to the progress of the technology but not without consequences. The technology has already started controlling our daily life, thought process, social life, the way we relax, communicate with others and so on and on. It can get catastrophic more than anyone could even think. For example, everybody is using cellular devices these days, so they store their personal photos, contact details and even private files on their phones. Thus, it is pretty easy for the hackers to hack into someone's phone and make them publicly available on the internet. Online transaction fraud, malicious virus, health hazard, lack of personal and social bonding are thus attributed towards our inclination towards to technology. We are meant to control the technology, not being controlled by it. If we do not become wary and more conscious, 'The Terminator' movie will become the reality when we will have to fight against the machine for our survival while machines will try to eradicate the human. In conclusion, even though technology has its disadvantages, it is undeniable that not everything that the human creates is flawless. Furthermore, technology can be very handy if it is used properly and under enough precaution. We should be in control of technology, not let it control us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
negatively
influencing the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and it is a manipulating tool as they are starting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
our lifestyle. Others,
however
, hold the view that it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to the humankind, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cons. This essay will discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a reasonable conclusion.

Technology is
dramatically
shaping the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and making our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier and more comfortable. Every day, tech developers are announcing new and innovative tech gadgets that are quite easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, handy, innovative and effective. These gadgets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
significantly and
we have a better lifestyle than the past due to this discovery and improvements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, mobile phones have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
noticeably
in terms of performance and usefulness. Nowadays, they're being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
including paying bills, making reminders, taking notes, communicating online, surfing the internet and for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
practical purposes.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
, research, treatment, education. The modern world is the blessing of the technological advancements.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, modern world might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
blessings due to the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not without consequences. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
controlling our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, the way we relax, communicate with others and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on and on. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
catastrophic more than anyone could even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
.
For example
, everybody is using cellular devices these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they store their personal photos, contact
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
and even private files on their phones.
Thus
, it is pretty easy for the hackers to hack into someone's phone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
publicly
available on the internet. Online transaction fraud, malicious virus, health hazard, lack of personal and social bonding are
thus
attributed towards our inclination towards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. We
are meant
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, not
being controlled
by it. If we do not become wary and more conscious, 'The Terminator' movie will become the reality when we will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
fight against the machine for our survival while machines will try to eradicate the human.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has its disadvantages, it is undeniable that not everything that the human creates is flawless.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
handy if it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
and under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
precaution. We should be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
us.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people fear that technology is gradually taking over control of our lives, while others think that it has led to many positive developments in all aspects of their lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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