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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is most important thing to succeed in life? v.7

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is most important thing to succeed in life? v. 7
These days academic proficiency, considered by the many, acts as an effective tool to attain success of a person. However, there is little doubt that existence of the real heroes in many industries with low level education has already proved the fact that theoretical knowledge is only a part and parcel of life achievements not the sole one. In this context, it becomes ever so pertinent to discuss the cause that lie behind the proliferation of such phenomenon and the imperative requirements that undeniably lead to the prosperity of an individual. The major force at play here which causes and accentuates more success rate of people with less academic qualifications is nothing but the exposure rate of such community to the social life than normal school going children. Generally, the old fashioned and outdated educational strategies which is most likely prepared for the industrial jobs hardly assist children so as to solve practical, real life problems. Students who fail in school curriculum, on the other hand, acquire certain life skills like problem-solving, leadership, good communication and so on, and with which they achieve personal as well as professional life. There are many students with innate ability in extracurricular activities most probably quit their academic life and follow their passions and retain success rate in life all because of the boring schooling that only follows factual curriculum. However, there are many research studies have already came in front line to notify the authorities regarding the positive correlation between economic independence and dedication, hard work and perseverance. To attain success ahead, one has to realise or rectify his or her potentials as those are the extremely powerful tool in this Competitive world. This can be done only by letting a child into the social life under good supervision of either the parents or the teachers. Sachin Tendulkar, a renowned cricket player, has succeeded his career through complete focus and determination on the goal, and of course stands as a testimony here that symbolises non academic requirements and diligent efforts are pivotal behind being successful. To conclude, I reiterate the fact that academic qualification will certainly improve a person’s chances of achieving success but it is not a pre-requisite. In fact, success is actually a byproduct of hard work and perseverance
These days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
proficiency, considered by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, acts as an effective tool to attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
of a person.
However
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
doubt that existence of the real heroes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries with low level education has already proved the fact that theoretical knowledge is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a part and parcel of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
achievements not the sole one. In this context, it becomes ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
pertinent to discuss the cause that lie behind the proliferation of such phenomenon and the imperative requirements that
undeniably
lead to the prosperity of an individual.

The major force at play here which causes and accentuates more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
rate of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
qualifications is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the exposure rate of such community to the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than normal school going children.
Generally
, the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
and outdated educational strategies which is most likely prepared for the industrial jobs hardly assist children
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
solve practical, real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
problems. Students who fail in school curriculum,
on the other hand
, acquire certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like problem-solving, leadership,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and with which they achieve personal
as well
as professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students with innate ability in extracurricular activities most
probably
quit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and follow their passions and retain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
rate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the boring schooling that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
follows factual curriculum.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
research studies have already
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "come".
came
in front line to notify the authorities regarding the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
correlation between economic independence and dedication,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and perseverance. To attain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
ahead, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
or rectify
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
potentials as those are the
extremely
powerful tool in this Competitive world. This can
be done
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by letting a child into the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
under
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
supervision of either the parents or the teachers.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, a renowned cricket player, has succeeded his career through complete focus and determination on the goal, and
of course
stands as a testimony here that
Possible spelling mistake. 'symbolises' is British English.
symbolises
non
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
requirements and diligent efforts are pivotal behind being successful.

To conclude
, I reiterate the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
qualification will
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
a person’s chances of achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-requisite
. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is actually a byproduct of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
perseverance
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is most important thing to succeed in life? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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