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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life. v.3

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life. v. 3
There are a number of students fail in schools, but it does not mean that they will not be successful in life. I actually agree that failing in school, it is not end of life. I tend to believe that individuals have different interests from person to another. However, if we failed in academic fields, it does not mean that we will fail in our professional life. So based on real stories, we saw a lot of people got success in the professional life rather than academic directions. As a result, we cannot say that education is the one which it judges our destiny. For example, in recent real stories of persons around the world, we recognize that most of the actors have not completed their education, and they become an asset in the art world, as they gain money triple times compared to individuals who finished education backgrounds. For the mentioned above, life will not stop for education only, so people continue up their life naturally. But there must be kind of ambitious aspect available in them. Hence, they must not feel disappointed, if they did not success in academic sides. There are a number of student left school at an early age, because they do not have the desire for education. For example, I know one person his name was Khaled, who was born in Jordan, he stopped going to school, because he liked working since he was a child. Notable, his father was handling his own business in a small shop selling grocery items, as he was taking his son to his shop to help him in managing the store. So, Khaled liked working with customers and help them to select the best products for the customers as he tried to make a smile in the face of each customer visiting the shop. Suddenly, his father died due to critical health condition. Now, he handled the store instead of his late father. In addition, since he controlled the store by himself, he thought of other ways to expand his business, as a result, he offered a good to his next neighbour's shop, it went successfully, he won the deal, and bought, after he opened both shops all together, as a consequence, he got more customers, and his sales were increased dramatically. Currently, he opened a new company in Jordan deal with import and export items from other countries. In addition, he has one of the best malls. In brief, I tend to believe that education is not the only way to success life, as people have different interests in life, if they could not success in academics, they would have succeeded in professional life.
There are a number of students fail in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean that they will not be successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I actually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that failing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of life.

I tend to believe that individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests from person to another.
However
, if we failed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
fields, it does not mean that we will fail in our professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
based on real stories, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in the professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
directions.
As a result
, we cannot say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the one which it judges our destiny.
For example
, in recent real stories of persons around the world, we recognize that most of the actors have not completed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, and they become an asset in the art world, as they gain money triple times compared to individuals who finished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
backgrounds.

For the mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
continue up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
naturally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be kind of ambitious aspect available in them.
Hence
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not feel disappointed, if they did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
sides. There are a number of student
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
at an early age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have the desire for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, I know one person his name
was Khaled
, who
was born
in Jordan, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he liked working since he was a child. Notable, his father was handling his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
selling grocery items, as he was taking his son to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him in managing the store.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, Khaled liked working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to select the best products for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
as he tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a smile in the face of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
.
Suddenly
, his father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to critical health condition.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, he handled the store
instead
of his late father.

In addition
, since he controlled the store by himself, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of other ways to expand his business,
as a result
, he offered a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to his
next
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
, it went
successfully
, he won the deal, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
, after he opened both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
all together, as a consequence, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
, and his sales
were increased
dramatically
.
Currently
, he opened a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in Jordan deal with import and export items from other countries.
In addition
, he has one of the best malls.

In brief
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
interests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if they could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
, they would have succeeded in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
447 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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