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Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v.2

Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 2
A number of people do not do well in early academic stages, yet they manage to have an outstanding performance in their career or other aspects of life. In this essay I will explain the reasons for this phenomenon. After that, I will talk about the main criterion that a person needs to have in order to lead a successful life. Success in school do not reflect success in real life for two reasons. The prime reason, is that school curriculums are designed to measure the calssic perspective of intelligence. Consequently, leaving other types of intelligence unmeasured, like athletic intelligence, social intelligence, music intelligence and business intelligence. Another reason, is that students build different kinds of experiences in their early stages of life, not only school related experiences. For example, a lot of successful business men used to engage in business activities when they were teenagers, like Warren Buffet, which is a practice that was not intrigued nor recorded by their academic institutions. If I have to choose one criterion for a person to lead a successful life, it would be being more prominent than his/her peers in one particular skill. This means, that a person who has an outstanding performance in creating something, and can accomplish it better than his/her peers, would have a greater chance of leading a scuccessful career, even if these skills do not help him/her getting good grades in school. For example, Leonel Messi was prominent in soccer. Although he did not get good grades in school, he is now considered to be more successful than most of his classmates, even the ones who got remarkably high marks. In conclusion, while I think it is important for people to get good education, failure in school does not condemn them to failure in real life. Schools are not designed to measure all aspects needed for success; furthermore, children and juveniles can accumulate different kinds of skills while growing up. One of these skills might end up being the skill that leads them to have a more successful career than their peers.
A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not do well in early academic stages,
yet
they manage to have an outstanding performance in their career or other aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for this phenomenon. After that, I will talk about the main criterion that a person needs to have in order to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
life.

Success in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
do not reflect success in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The prime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculums
are designed
to measure the
Possible spelling mistake found.
calssic
perspective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
.
Consequently
, leaving other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
unmeasured, like athletic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
, music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
and business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intelligence
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, is that students build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of experiences in their early stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
related experiences.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to engage in business activities when they were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, like Warren Buffet, which is a practice that was not intrigued nor recorded by their academic institutions.

If I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose one criterion for a person to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, it would be being more prominent than his/her peers in one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. This means, that a person who has an outstanding performance in creating something, and can accomplish it better than his/her peers, would have a greater chance of leading a
Possible spelling mistake found.
scuccessful
career, even if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him/her getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
, Leonel Messi was prominent in soccer. Although he did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered to be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
than most of his classmates, even the ones who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
remarkably
high marks.

In conclusion
, while I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, failure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
does not condemn them to failure in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are not designed to measure all aspects needed for success;
furthermore
, children and juveniles can accumulate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
while growing up. One of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
that leads them to have a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
career than their peers.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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