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Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometime it creates tension between people from different cultures instead of better understanding. why do you think it is happening and how can it be improved. v.2

Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometime it creates tension between people from different cultures instead of better understanding. why do you think it is happening and how can it be improved. v. 2
International tourism is one of the biggest industry contributing towards the economic growth of a country. Many a times visitors and local people have cultural conflict rather than respecting diverse cultures. In this essay I will not only mention the reasons for this trend, but also provide plausible solutions to resolve this issue. From my practical point of view, the main cause of tension is lack of information about the tourist places. This is because people visit exotic destination for rejuvenate them in which they don't have adequate amount of information that is necessary for visitors. Besides this, there are stringent rules and regulations in different cultures which might visitors don't aware about it. A classic example for this, local police in Shirdi saibaba temple caught a foreign tourists, who tried to enter in the temple with a bottle of beer, for this offence they had to pay a penalty for breaking laws that was unintentionally. Another prominent reason for different cultures and traditions. In other words, every country has its own cultural values, which reflects in their localities. Along with this, holiday makers find challenge to accept the visiting country's customs and traditions, which creates misunderstanding among the people. For instance, in India, people welcome their guests by Namaste as a gesture of love, but foreigners hardly do it. Thus, a minimal information visitors have about the tourist places and at the same time they do not give importance to the other cultures. Paradoxically, this problem can be controlled with help of the government and individuals. First and foremost, authorities must implement strict norms for tourism industry, because tour guide can provide maximum information about holiday places in their leaflets. This can curbs the problem of information. According to the recent survey has been conducted by the Tourist and Travels Association of the Bhutan reveals that more 75% of Bhutan's information is available for the tour operators, which helps them to get proper knowledge about the country rules and traditions. Secondly, holiday makers must take an initiative to respect and follow the basic tradition in which they are going to visit. The reason for this, local people will not feel aggression for visitors, which curtails the misunderstanding. Hence, the government and globetrotters should take this precautionary measure to combat about this trend. In conclusion, it is truly said that the international tourism is booming in many nation, and at the similar time it creates disputes among citizens and foreigners. Nonetheless, in the cultural context this challenge must be go in hand in hand for the sustainable future.
International tourism is one of the biggest industry contributing towards the economic growth of a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
a times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have cultural conflict
rather
than respecting diverse cultures. In this essay I will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
mention the reasons for this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide plausible solutions to resolve this issue.

From my practical point of view, the main cause of tension is lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
places. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit exotic destination for rejuvenate them in which they don't have adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that is
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
.
Besides
this, there are stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures which might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
don't aware about it. A classic example for this, local police in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shirdi
Possible spelling mistake found.
saibaba
temple caught a foreign
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "tourist"?
tourists
, who tried to
There isn't usually a preposition after "enter". Did you mean "enter the temple"?
enter in the temple
with a bottle of beer, for this
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
they had to pay a penalty for breaking laws that was
unintentionally
. Another prominent reason for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
In other words
, every country has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cultural values, which reflects in their localities. Along with this, holiday makers find challenge to accept the visiting country's customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
, which creates misunderstanding among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
welcome their guests by Namaste as a gesture of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
foreigners hardly do it.
Thus
, a minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
have about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
places and at the same time they do not give importance to the other cultures.

Paradoxically
, this problem can
be controlled
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals.
First
and foremost, authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement strict norms for tourism industry,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
tour guide can provide maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about holiday places in their leaflets. This can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "curb"
curbs
the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. According to the recent survey has
been conducted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
and Travels Association of the Bhutan reveals that more 75% of Bhutan's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available for the tour operators, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper knowledge about the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
.
Secondly
, holiday makers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take an initiative to respect and follow the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
in which they are going to visit. The reason for this, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not feel aggression for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visitors
, which curtails the misunderstanding.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and globetrotters should take this precautionary measure to combat about this trend.

In conclusion
, it is
truly
said that the international tourism is booming in
Possible agreement error. The noun nation seems to be countable; consider using: "many nations".
many nation
, and at the similar time it creates disputes among citizens and foreigners. Nonetheless, in the cultural context this challenge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "in hand".
in hand in hand
for the sustainable future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays international tourism is the biggest industry worldwide. Unfortunately, sometime it creates tension between people from different cultures instead of better understanding. why do you think it is happening and how can it be improved. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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