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Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v.14

Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 14
Good educational background is always considered to be one of the most optimal factors in building a successful career. However, some people are being very successful in life despite their failure in schools. This essay will give all of you a more multidimensional view of the reasons for these cases and some key factors to succeed in life. Grades at schools cannot be used to comprehensively evaluate students' abilities. First and foremost, in some places in the world, the teaching methods and the textbook set are very old-fashioned. This not only makes every lesson very boring, but also hinder the creativity of the students. Besides, there are many types of knowledge which will rarely be applied in some people's specific expertise later. Sometimes, some student is interested in singing, painting or trading whose trends is more likely towards gifted abilities than compulsory subjects at schools. Therefore, failure in school is not equal to failure in life. There is a quotation I like: "On the way to success, there is no trace of lazy men". Hence, everything we should do to take further steps in career is hard work. We must outline clear plans and goals, then give a certain time we will make efforts to complete them. A conscious mind and perseverance are very essential. Sometime, we should take risks and rely on a little luck. The successful entrepreneurs like Billion Jack Ma, Bill Gates, etc. . . . Are good examples. Although they did not choose academic education, they still make continuous efforts to actualize their dreams and become influential people in the world. In short, the academic grade will not prove the success of each person in the future. Moreover, there is no success without sweat and tears.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
educational background is always considered to be one of the most optimal factors in building a successful career.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
successful in life despite their failure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. This essay will give all of you a more multidimensional view of the reasons for these cases and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
key factors to succeed in life.

Grades at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
comprehensively
evaluate students' abilities.
First
and foremost, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places in the world, the teaching methods and the textbook set are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
every lesson
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
boring,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hinder the creativity of the students.
Besides
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of knowledge which will rarely
be applied
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's specific expertise later.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
student
is interested
in singing, painting or trading whose trends
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
more likely towards gifted abilities than compulsory subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Therefore
, failure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not equal to failure in life.

There is a quotation I like:
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
On the way to success, there is no trace of lazy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
Hence
, everything we should do to take
further
steps in career is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
outline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
plans and goals, then give a certain time we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
efforts to complete them. A conscious mind and perseverance are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential. Sometime, we should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and rely on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
luck. The successful entrepreneurs like Billion Jack Ma, Bill Gates, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples. Although they did not choose academic education, they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
continuous efforts to actualize their dreams and become influential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the world.

In short, the academic grade will not prove the success of each person in the future.
Moreover
, there is no success without sweat and tears.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people fail in school but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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