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Some people do not believe in the benefits of good diet and daily exercise. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people do not believe in the benefits of good diet and daily exercise. v. 2
At this moment in time, most of the populace do not consider doing exercises and eating healthy dishes. Which I disagree because doing these kinds of beneficial activities could lengthen the life span of human beings. To start with, going on a diet does not mean that you are not going to eat all the time. It means that you are going to eat healthy delectable food that could help slowly lessen the people weight. For example, in the Philippines the government are promoting eating healthy viands which gives vitamins and nutrients. Which in time can help build a healthy lifestyle of the citizen and reduce the degenerative diseases that accompanies unhealthy way of living. Moreover, doing daily exercise could also help the body’s metabolism promotes better sleep, boost energy, and combat illnesses. A lot of the people in this era are living with a bad habit of smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages, and eating unhealthy dishes which in a long run could damage their overall health heavily. Another is that, the percentage of diseases come from vices which most of the individuals tend to patronize. That is why most of the countries are encouraging the public to do exercise at home so that they could counter the negative effects of unhealthy diet in the near future. In summary, I strongly disagree that most of the populace do not believe the positive effects of good diet and daily exercise. This activities can be use as a pragmatic way to help curb down the diseases that we are encountering and use it as a silver lining to increase the productivity of mankind.
At this moment in time, most of the populace do not consider doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
dishes. Which I disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
doing these kinds of beneficial activities could lengthen the life span of human beings.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, going on a diet does not mean that you are not going to eat all the time. It means that you are going to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
delectable food that could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
slowly
lessen the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
weight.
For example
, in the Philippines the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
are promoting eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
viands which gives vitamins and nutrients. Which in time can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle of the citizen and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the degenerative diseases that accompanies unhealthy way of living.

Moreover
, doing daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
could
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the body’s metabolism promotes better sleep, boost energy, and combat illnesses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in this era are living with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit of smoking, drinking alcoholic beverages, and eating unhealthy dishes which in a long run could damage their
overall
health
heavily
. Another is that, the percentage of diseases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from vices which most of the individuals tend to patronize.
That is
why most of the countries are encouraging the public to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could counter the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of unhealthy diet in the near future.

In summary, I
strongly
disagree that most of the populace do not believe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
diet and daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
activities can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as a pragmatic way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
curb down the diseases that we are encountering and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as a silver lining to increase the productivity of mankind.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people do not believe in the benefits of good diet and daily exercise. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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