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Some people consider sport to be their carrier and role in the society For others it is mostly a workout to keep fit Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people consider sport to be their carrier and role in the society For others it is mostly a workout to keep fit 1
Sports play a phenomenal role to uplift the standard of health, wealth and relationships. Presently, some people are passionate to join sport as a professional player. By contrast, it is thought to be a good physical exercise only by others. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my own perception. There are numerous points to shore up former view. First and foremost, some people have exceptional aptitudes of sports who can accomplish massive success in this field. Hence, they determine to be professional sports players in order to earn livelihood. Moreover, some nations are deprived of talented sports players. Therefore, the world of sport invites optimum opportunities for a plethora of people to secure bright future. All of above, sport players are not only prevalent but also most honourable worldwide. Thus, inclination towards being professional sports players is mushrooming nowadays. On the contrary, others have conflicting argument. Numerous points can be put down to endorse latter view. Some people are contended with their smart jobs in fields of engineering, education, medical and so on but they have sedentary lifestyle. Hence, they want to be engaged with sports for mere physical exercise. Apart from it, very few people are blessed with talent in sports and therefore most of people are helpless to give extra- ordinary performances that are mandatory to be part of national or international teams. Consequently, such people never think about being professional players. From my notion, playing sport is a huge privilege for mankind. Undeniably, some people are tailor made for sports. However, being successful in this field is not everyone' s cup of tea. Thence, people need to analyse their abilities, interest aim and expectations of parents before thinking about whether to be professional players or join sport for amusement and exercise only. To recapitulate, everyone needs to settle his career to lead a prosperous life. Thus, wise decision is important to be made regarding career choice.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
play a phenomenal role to uplift the standard of health, wealth and relationships.
Presently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are passionate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
. By contrast, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by others. Here, I would like to account for both sides with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perception.

There are numerous points to shore up former view.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have exceptional aptitudes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
who can accomplish massive success in this field.
Hence
, they determine to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in order to earn livelihood.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations
are deprived
of talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
.
Therefore
, the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
invites optimum opportunities for a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to secure bright future.
Consider using "All above" or "All of the above".
All of above
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
prevalent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
most
Possible spelling mistake found.
honourable
worldwide.
Thus
, inclination towards being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
is mushrooming nowadays.
On the contrary
, others have conflicting argument.

Numerous points can
be put
down to endorse latter view.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are contended
with their smart jobs in fields of engineering, education, medical and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have sedentary lifestyle.
Hence
, they want to
be engaged
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for mere physical exercise. Apart from it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are blessed
with talent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
therefore
most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are helpless to give extra- ordinary performances that are mandatory to be part of national or international teams.
Consequently
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
players.

From my notion, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a huge privilege for mankind.
Undeniably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tailor made for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, being successful in this field is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
everyone&
#039; s cup of tea. Thence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
their abilities, interest aim and expectations of parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
thinking about whether to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for amusement and exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

To recapitulate, everyone needs to settle his career to lead a prosperous life.
Thus
, wise decision is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
be made
regarding career choice.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people consider sport to be their carrier and role in the society For others it is mostly a workout to keep fit 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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