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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to preoccupy themselves. Discuss both these views and and give your opini v.18

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to preoccupy themselves. 18
Whether if children should take part in organised group activities during their free time or to preoccupy themselves is explicated i. e. analysed and presented in great detail below. On the one hand, since offspring have more idle time when compared to adolescents, they should involve in group activities at schools as this will improve their cognitive behaviour. What does it mean? All younger ones do not have the same enthusiasm or intelligence to learn new things. But when a group of kids join together with a mission to: organise volunteering work e. g. removing debris from school playgrounds, collecting charities for the Halloween or making handicrafts to sell them to feed the poor and finally, join as scouts; their co-ordination with each other will improve, they will communicate better, and their perceptions and reasoning skills related to tasks and situations will enhance as they will solve problems by asking doubts and giving suggestions between members. Hence, parents naturally be willing to allow their children to participate in such activities. On the other hand, progeny like to hang around with their parents or play on their own. Since they do not know how to pass time, parents can help them find a suitable hobby e. g. they could be admitted into sports club where they can learn golf, swimming, chess and other activities. Another way to nurture their intelligence is by introducing them to computers or by assigning them science projects so that they can engross in learning technology which can metamorphose their future, meaning, they could completely change from average students to future geniuses if they work on something right from their early ages. In conclusion, on must have understood from the above that my opinions on both of the views is supportive as this aids in personality development.
Whether if children should
take part
in
organised
group activities during their free time or to preoccupy themselves
is explicated
i. e.
analysed
and presented in great detail below.

On the one hand, since offspring have more idle time when compared to adolescents, they should involve in group activities at schools as this will
improve
their cognitive
behaviour
. What does it mean? All younger ones do not have the same enthusiasm or intelligence to learn new things.
But
when a group of kids
join
together with a mission to:
organise
volunteering work
e. g.
removing debris from school playgrounds, collecting charities for the Halloween or making handicrafts to sell them to feed the poor and
finally
,
join
as scouts; their co-ordination with each other will
improve
, they will communicate better, and their perceptions and reasoning
skills
related to tasks and situations will enhance as they will solve problems by asking doubts and giving suggestions between members.
Hence
, parents
naturally
be willing to
allow
their children to participate in such activities.

On the other hand
, progeny like to hang around with their parents or play on their
own
. Since they do not know how to pass time, parents can
help
them find a suitable hobby
e. g.
they could
be admitted
into sports club where they can learn golf, swimming, chess and other activities. Another way to nurture their intelligence is by introducing them to computers or by assigning them science projects
so
that they can engross in learning technology which can metamorphose their future, meaning, they could completely
change
from average students to future geniuses if they work on something right from their early ages.

In conclusion
, on
must
have understood from the above that my opinions on both of the views is supportive as this aids in personality development.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to preoccupy themselves. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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