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Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product ( such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment) Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product ( such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment) v. 1
It is often argued that in case of purchasing a product the main thing people should consider is the price, which I don not agree at all. I completely disagree with the statement as individuals should pay attention to the character first. Initially, I believe the condition and service of the commodity should be considered if someone wish to buy that, as people need to use that for a particular time. Although money plays an important role to buy something, but not only the person will use that also he would want to keep the product for a long time. Only the best characteristics can do so. For instance, last month my sister bought a phone for her when she only paid attention to the price. After coming home, she found the phone is not working well. Therefore, quality is much more important than money and high price. Another reason is self satisfaction which is more essential than anything. In other words, there is a good connection between buying and satisfaction as a person always wants to buy according to their will. But for the high price they just back off. So they go to a cheaper place to buy a low cost thing to save money but do not feel great inside. For example, I was in Sylhet for one whole week and I travelled a lot, where I saw some rare stones which were so expensive, I could not buy those stones because I had less cash. Thus, it is very crucial to be satisfied in a long term perspective. To conclude, I strongly believe that purchasing a product with best quality and self satisfaction is much essential for individuals because it makes people happier and delighted.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in case of purchasing a product the main thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should consider is the price, which I
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
at all. I completely disagree with the statement as individuals should pay attention to the character
first
.

Initially
, I believe the condition and service of the commodity should
be considered
if someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wishes", "wished".
wish
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that for a particular time. Although money plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the person will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
also
he would want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the product for a long time.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the best characteristics can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
For instance
, last month my sister
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a phone for her when she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
paid attention to the price. After coming home, she found the phone is not working well.
Therefore
, quality is much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than money and high price.

Another reason is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
which is more essential than anything.
In other words
, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
buying and satisfaction as a person always wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
according to their will.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for the high price they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
back off.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they go to a cheaper place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a low cost thing to save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
do not feel great inside.
For example
, I was in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sylhet
for one whole week and I travelled a lot, where I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rare stones which were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
expensive, I could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
those stones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had less cash.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
be satisfied
in a long term perspective.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that purchasing a product
A determiner is probably missing here: "with the best".
with best
quality and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self satisfaction
is much essential for individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
happier and delighted.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people consider price as the most important thing to think about when buying a product ( such as cell phone) or service (e. g medical treatment) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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