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Some people consider price as most important thing to consider when buying a product or a service. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people consider price as most important thing to consider when buying a product or a service. v. 1
I would agree that money plays a major role in terms of buying anything. In this essay, it is going to be discussed about why price of any goods matters. If a high quality product is available with low price, most of the people, prefer to buy that. In fact, people always spend most of their time in the market to get items with cheap price. Firstly, the quality of a good should be considered first, but if it is so costly then some people think of, buying a low quality product. For the people of our country do not earn well, most of them come from a very humble background, it is quite difficult for them to buy something, which is really prohibitive. In support of this, in Delhi there is a market named Sarojani Nagar, people generally go there for shopping because everything available there is at very low cost. Secondly, there are lots of markets in India, where products are cheaper, but even there people search around in those markets from a morning untill the evening so that they could find product of less price. All these shows that people are so desperate to buy some goods, but with a very minimum rate. Although some people are really wealthy and they do not contemplate about the price of a product, yet most of the people in India are living under poverty line so, price matters for them. In conclusion, I would say that people do not spend their money in an extravagant manner to buy a product because their incomes are already very low. Hence, they look for the price more than anything, in order to buy a product.
I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that money plays a major role in terms of buying anything. In this essay, it is going to be
Did you mean simply "discussed why"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussed about why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
matters. If a high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is available with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always spend most of their time in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
items with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
price.

Firstly
, the quality of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
should
be considered
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
costly then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of, buying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of our country do not earn well, most of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
humble background, it is quite difficult for them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something, which is
really
prohibitive. In support of this, in Delhi there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sarojani
Nagar,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
go there for shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everything available there is at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
cost.

Secondly
, there are lots of markets in India, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are cheaper,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
even there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
search around in those markets from a morning
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
the evening
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
. All these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
desperate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
minimum rate. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
really
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
wealthy and
they do not contemplate about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
yet
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India are living under poverty line
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
matters for them.

In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not spend their money
Consider replacing "in an extravagant manner" with the adverb for "extravagant"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an extravagant manner
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their incomes are already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
.
Hence
, they look for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
more than anything, in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay Some people consider price as most important thing to consider when buying a product or a service. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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