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Some people say that the most important requirement of a modern city is an effective public transport systems. While other people believe that there are other important requirements for a city. Discuss both views, give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that the most important requirement of a modern city is an effective public transport systems. While other people believe that there are other important requirements for a city. v. 1
In recent decades, public transportation issue has been receiving a great deal of public attractive. Although many believe that it is necessary to invest in different sectors for a metropolis, I would agree with opinion that building a modern public transport system should be the top priority of a city. On the one hand, there are a variety reasons why city committee need to divide up the costs equally among essential requirements of this borough. First, urban development includes not only public transport but also many different aspects, such as economy, education or medical services. If city council just emphasize on a particular sections, financial resource of city may be not sufficient to endow other fields, which makes city not develop comprehensively. Second, citizens in some cities, especially in developing countries like Viet Nam and Philippines, tend to prefer private vehicles due to its convenience rather than using bus or subways. Therefore, it is probable that building public transport could contribute to unnecessary waste for city. On the other hand, I am of opinion that construction of a modern transport infrastructure can bring significant benefits to long-term development of a municipality. Firstly, the introduction of bus and metro would help to ease traffic flow in city centres. In fact, capitals in developing countries like Ha Noi, Manila, Bangkok etc. encounter traffic congestion frequently at peak hours due to the lack of public transportation. Secondly, an integrated transport system is the base of urban areas. Without an effective traffic net, commodities and merchandises can not be conveyed smoothly, leading to economic inefficiency. Furthermore, the popularity of public transport can reduce the use of individual vehicles and the smoke of car gas, thus protecting the environment. In conclusion, it seems evident that both opinions have their own unique advantages. However, it would be better for a city to upgrade and expand public transport provision.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation issue has been receiving a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
attractive. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it is necessary to invest in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors for a metropolis, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with opinion that building a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system should be the top priority of a city.

On the one hand, there are a variety reasons why city committee need to divide up the costs
equally
among essential requirements of this borough.
First
, urban development includes not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
aspects, such as economy, education or medical services. If city council
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
emphasize on a particular sections, financial resource of city may be not sufficient to endow other fields, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
city not develop
comprehensively
. Second, citizens in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam and Philippines, tend to prefer private vehicles due to its convenience
rather
than using bus or subways.
Therefore
, it is probable that building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
could contribute to unnecessary waste for city.

On the other hand
, I am of opinion that construction of a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
infrastructure can bring significant benefits to long-term development of a municipality.
Firstly
, the introduction of bus and metro would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
traffic flow in city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. In fact, capitals in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
, Manila, Bangkok etc. encounter traffic congestion
frequently
at peak hours due to the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation.
Secondly
, an integrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system is the base of urban areas. Without an effective traffic net, commodities and merchandises can not
be conveyed
smoothly
, leading to economic inefficiency.
Furthermore
, the popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of individual vehicles and the smoke of car gas,
thus
protecting the environment.

In conclusion
, it seems evident that both opinions have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique advantages.
However
, it would be better for a city to upgrade and expand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
provision.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people say that the most important requirement of a modern city is an effective public transport systems. While other people believe that there are other important requirements for a city. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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