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Some people claim that public transport should be free of charge, while other disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people claim that public transport should be free of charge, while other disagree. v. 1
Many Individuals believe that Bicycle, as a mode of commutation is of more advantages than travelling by cars. In today's era, owing to busy lifestyles, demand for leisure hours lead to more and more use of scientific advancements. Mode of travel, needs to be of high consideration in this regard. I would argue on the side of travelling with bicycles. To begin with, driving bicycle leads to many advantages in terms of individuals' health as well for the environmental benefits. First of all, it avoids the plethora of carbon particle emissions in the air, which produces so much of greenhouse gases. One mile of its ride prevents from 200mg of carbon monoxide gas to get diluted in our environment For instance, Denmark has developed 1000 km of Biking tracks, which contribute a significant reduction in the amount of carbon particles in the air. Secondly, driving bicycle within the city would keep people physically fit too. In metros, where obesity is of greater concern, this initiative would help in the betterment of their health. On the other side of the opinion, people suggest travelling by car is of utmost demand in today's rapidly moving world. They state that to reach on time to schools, colleges, and important business meetings is not feasible without usage of cars. However, in most of the metro cities, cars run at a snail pace in peak hours, where bicycles would be the more viable option. To illustrate, a report published by Guardian states that average traffic speed is less than 10 miles in most of the major metro cities across the world. To conclude, Cars undoubtedly are blessings for human beings in this era of humanity, where speed is of utmost importance in our day to day lives, but bicycle as a mode of commutation have far more benefits in terms of Residents' health and maintaining an equilibrium state in the environment too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Bicycle
, as a mode of commutation is of more advantages than travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era, owing to busy lifestyles, demand for leisure hours lead to more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of scientific advancements. Mode of travel, needs to be of high consideration in this regard. I would argue on the side of travelling with bicycles.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages in terms of individuals' health
as well
for the environmental benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it avoids the plethora of carbon particle emissions in the air, which produces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much of greenhouse gases. One mile of its ride
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
from
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "200 mg"
200mg
of carbon monoxide gas to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diluted in our environment
For instance
, Denmark has developed 1000 km of Biking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
, which contribute a significant reduction in the amount of carbon particles in the air.
Secondly
, driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
within the city would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
physically
fit too. In metros, where obesity is of greater concern, this initiative would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the betterment of their health.

On the other side of the opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is of utmost demand in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
rapidly
moving world. They state that to reach on time to schools, colleges, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
business meetings is not feasible without usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
However
, in most of the metro cities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
run at a snail pace in peak hours, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycles
would be the more viable option. To illustrate, a report published by Guardian states that average traffic speed is less than
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
10 miles
in most of the major metro cities across the world.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cars
undoubtedly
are blessings for human beings in this era of humanity, where speed is of utmost importance in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
as a mode of commutation have far more benefits in terms of Residents' health and maintaining an equilibrium state in the environment too.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that public transport should be free of charge, while other disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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