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Should a college student be successful in career easier than ones without a college education? why? v.1

Should a college student be successful in career easier than ones without a college education? why? v. 1
Efficient and modern infrastructure is the need of the fast moving world. While some people believe that investment in railway infrastructure is much needed than spending on road construction, I believe that developments in both sectors are equally important. Roads and trains are the backbone of the economy of a nation. A wide and well-constructed road cuts the transportation time of a commercial truck by a big margin as compare to the time required on narrow roads for same mode of travel. For instance, the highway construction in India has been increased by 50% in comparison to last 5 years' road building activity, which results in a drastic reduction in travel time and fuel consumption, and it is directly impacting the cost of commodities being transported. This is one of the main reasons why the price of domestic consumables has not increased in India for last 5 years. Interestingly, train is extremely useful in mass transportation. For example, coals from mines, crude oil from petroleum fields can be transferred to the processing factories in a cost effective manner if trains are used as a mode of communication, while passengers can also reach destination more quickly. Moreover, trains are more effective in carbon footprint reduction because most of the trains are running on electricity and a single locomotive can perform the same job of ten trucks or buses. I believe that both modes, roads and rails, have their own advantages. The train is highly effective in case of large transportation, while well-constructed roads are super efficient, especially, where locomotive connection is not feasible, such as hilly areas. Thus, investment in both sectors is highly required for a prosperous country.
Efficient and modern infrastructure is the need of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that investment in railway infrastructure is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
much needed
than spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
construction, I believe that developments in both sectors are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Roads and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are the backbone of the economy of a nation. A wide and well-constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
the transportation time of a commercial truck by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
margin as compare to the time required on narrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
for same mode of travel.
For instance
, the highway construction in India has
been increased
by 50%
in comparison
to last 5 years'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
building activity, which results in a drastic reduction in travel time and fuel consumption, and it is
directly
impacting the cost of commodities
being transported
. This is one of the main reasons why the price of domestic consumables has not increased in India for last 5 years.

Interestingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is
extremely
useful in mass transportation.
For example
, coals from mines, crude oil from petroleum fields can
be transferred
to the processing factories in a cost effective manner if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a mode of communication, while passengers can
also
reach destination more
quickly
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are more effective in carbon footprint reduction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are running on electricity and a single locomotive can perform the same job of ten trucks or buses.

I believe that both modes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
and rails, have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is
highly
effective in case of large transportation, while well-constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
are super efficient,
especially
, where locomotive connection is not feasible, such as hilly areas.
Thus
, investment in both sectors is
highly
required for a prosperous country.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
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IELTS essay Should a college student be successful in career easier than ones without a college education? why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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