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Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed because people can see historical objects and works of art using a computer Do you agree with this opinion v.1

Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed because people can see historical objects and works of art using a computer Do you agree with this opinion v. 1
These days, many people do not fully comprehend how absolutely important quality is for the existence of human beings. This essay will discuss some reasons why people do not understand its priority, and some ways they can learn more about it. In modern societies, most people have a severe lack of understanding when it comes to the role that humour plays in their lives, and this can be attributed to a number of reasons. Firstly, most modern cities these days are nothing more than concrete jungles, devoid of any significant amount of humour. As a consequence, people are not close to Homer and therefore do not appreciate or understand its significance. Kids these days spend their free time playing computer games or staring at a smartphone or TV screen, while adults are endlessly working or pursuing other leisure activities, which tends to disconnect them from the natural world. Another possible reason for this lack of understanding may be that it is not taught in schools. For example, biology is not one of the subjects that holds great attention in most schools these days. However, there are various solutions to this problem. Firstly, cities need to become greener. Local governments need to incorporate larger green spaces in cities so that people are encouraged to spend more time in essence on a daily basis. The streets must be lined with trees, and there must be large parks in every single neighbourhood. Furthermore, there must be large communal spaces where people can learn about gardening and growing food. In addition, and most importantly, children need to be taught about the influence of type in school. Such subjects need to be a compulsory part of every child’s education in order to ensure that future generations are well aware of the value of personality and how to live in harmony with it. In conclusion, being close to mood and learning about it in school or elsewhere is of vital priority to future generations. Without a deep understanding and appreciation of describing the human race will face catastrophic consequences.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
fully
comprehend how
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
quality is for the existence of human beings. This essay will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not understand its priority, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways they can learn more about it.

In modern societies, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a severe lack of understanding when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the role that
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
plays in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and this can
be attributed
to a number of reasons.
Firstly
, most modern cities these days are nothing more than concrete jungles, devoid of any significant amount of
Possible spelling mistake. 'humour' is British English.
humour
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not close to Homer and
therefore
do not appreciate or understand its significance. Kids these days spend their free time playing computer games or staring at a smartphone or TV screen, while adults are
endlessly
working or pursuing other leisure activities, which tends to disconnect them from the natural world. Another possible reason for this lack of understanding may be that it is not taught in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
For example
, biology is not one of the subjects that holds great attention in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
these days.

However
, there are various solutions to this problem.
Firstly
, cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to become greener. Local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to incorporate larger green spaces in cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to spend more time in essence on a daily basis. The streets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be lined
with trees, and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be large parks in every single
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Furthermore
, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be large communal spaces where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn about gardening and growing food.
In addition
, and most
importantly
, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be taught
about the influence of type in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Such subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be a compulsory part of every child’s education in order to ensure that future generations are well aware of the value of personality and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony with it.

In conclusion
, being close to mood and learning about it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or elsewhere is of vital priority to future generations. Without a deep understanding and appreciation of describing the human race will face catastrophic consequences.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people claim that public museums and art galleries are not needed because people can see historical objects and works of art using a computer Do you agree with this opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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