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some people claim that government should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, believe that people should decide which way they prefer to leave their lives. what’s your opinion? v.2

some people claim that government should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, believe that people should decide which way they prefer to leave their lives. what’s your opinion? v. 2
In recent years, having healthy lifestyle has been at the center of global debates, and it becomes an arguable question that who has the responsiblity for preparing people' s health, the people themselves or the government? Many attitudes exist towards this issue. On the one hand, many people note that one of the major responsibilities of the government is to ensure that the members of a society live healthily. This is feasible by preparing for them accommodations and facilities which are dealing with their health. First and foremost is the food which people consume daily such as vegetables, fruits, and dairy products. Therefore, the government should blame the shoulder if these products are spoiled or unhealthy. Secondly, sports clubs, swimming pools, and other sport' s accommodations should be accessible in order to prevent obesity, and other consequences of the passive lifestyle. Last but not least, the government' s major contribution to health is not only in diagnosing and curing the ailments but also in preventing and rehabilitating them. For instance, it is the government duty to invest the public money on preventing the widespread diseases by vaccination. Thus, the government plays a significant role to bring and preserve people' s health. On the other hand, others claim that considering all actions above, having a healthy lifestyle is an individual term. In fact, neither the government nor anyone else can bring an individual a healthy lifestyle. Meanwhile, people could not live healthy unless they decide to, schedule for and stick to it. Even if a myriad of sports clubs exist, still many may continue their passive lifestyle. Consequently, there is no guarantee for having healthy life unless an individual decides to have. To sum up, in order to live healthy not only does the government action need, but also the individual decisions are required. Without these factors acquiring health and a healthy lifestyle are not feasible.
In recent years, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
has been at the center of global debates, and it becomes an arguable question that who has the
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsiblity
for preparing
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
attitudes exist towards this issue.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
note that one of the major responsibilities of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is to ensure that the members of a society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthily
. This is feasible by preparing for them accommodations and facilities which are dealing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
First
and foremost is the food which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consume daily such as vegetables, fruits, and dairy products.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should blame the shoulder if these products
are spoiled
or unhealthy.
Secondly
, sports clubs, swimming pools, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
sport&
#039; s accommodations should be accessible in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
obesity, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consequences of the passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s major contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in diagnosing and curing the ailments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in preventing and rehabilitating them.
For instance
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
duty to invest the public money on preventing the widespread diseases by vaccination.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a significant role to bring and preserve
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s health.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others claim that considering all actions above, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
term. In fact, neither the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
nor anyone else can bring an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
unless they decide to, schedule for and stick to it. Even if a myriad of sports clubs exist,
still
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
continue their passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Consequently
, there is no guarantee for having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life unless an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
decides to have.

To sum up, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
action need,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
decisions
are required
. Without these factors acquiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
are not feasible.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay some people claim that government should take action to ensure that people have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, believe that people should decide which way they prefer to leave their lives. what’s your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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