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It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v.2

It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v. 2
This society has been changed by the advent of the Internet in twenties centuries. The methods of education have been vastly changed which brought about different attitudes towards this. Many believe that the benefits of online materials outweigh the printed books due to the vast and synthetic sources. I do appreciate this notion; however, frequent drawbacks of the online materials have proved the crucial role of the printed books for pupils. First and foremost, there are ample of unreliable sources on the cyberspaces which offer inaccurate data. Thus, pupils are inevitably exposed to Wrong documents which would have dire consequences such as misleading. In addition, there are many sites and weblogs which present pornography or other detrimental photos. Thus, although online materials are beneficial in wholesomeness, it should be utilized under the supervision of parents or teachers in order to address these problems. Secondly, reliable materials are essential to guide students. Printed materials have been thought for several years and they are accepted by pedagogic experts, which means that the printed books have proved to exist in the school curriculum and they will certainly develop students education. This can be more important in primary school' s students who are more vulnerable. As a result, they would be affected adversely, if they do not have an accurate material in their schools. In conclusion, it seems that the advantages of the printed books clearly outweigh the benefits of online materials since the pupils are not capable to sift the correct materials by their owns.
This society has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
by the advent of the Internet in twenties centuries. The methods of education have been
vastly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
which brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitudes towards this.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
outweigh the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
due to the vast and synthetic sources. I do appreciate this notion;
however
, frequent drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
have proved the crucial role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for pupils.

First
and foremost, there are ample of unreliable sources on the cyberspaces which offer inaccurate data.
Thus
, pupils are
inevitably
exposed to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Wrong
documents which would have dire consequences such as misleading.
In addition
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sites and weblogs which present pornography or other detrimental photos.
Thus
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are beneficial in wholesomeness, it should
be utilized
under the supervision of parents or teachers in order to address these problems.

Secondly
, reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are essential to guide students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
for several
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
years and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by pedagogic experts, which means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have proved to exist in the school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
curriculum and
they will
certainly
develop students education. This can be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in primary
Possible spelling mistake found.
school&
#039; s students who are more vulnerable.
As a result
, they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
, if they do not have an accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
in their schools.

In conclusion
, it seems that the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
clearly
outweigh the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
since the pupils are not capable to sift the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better for children to read by using online materials or by using printed material Discuss and give your own opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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