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Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 7
In recent years, more and more people have chosen to be a vegetarian. They support that having a meal without fish and meat is helpful for their bodies, as well as good for the nature and the society. In my opinion, although eating meat can bring us some benefits, it has some problems for several people's bodies. In this essay I will discuss the pros and shortages about it There are two reasons accounting for advantages. Firstly, some vegetarians think it is unhealthy to obtain too much fat, and vegetable can help them keep fit. As we know, over fat may make a problem for our organs, like livers and hearts. There are a lot of people have been killed by heart diseases or other problems in every year. Then, eating vegetable may help the human race to treat those physical problems. Furthermore, it also can deal with some problems of air pollution. If we do not choice some animals like cattle, lamps and chickens as us food, it can reduce the number of animal farmings. It can reduce the dioxide from animals and transportations. On the other hand, most people think just eating vegetable cannot give enough energy for people. For example, Fat from the meat can provide more energy for us, especially, for children. In addition, most people think eating fish make them smarter. On balance, I think whether eating fish and meat is a personal choice. From my point of view, it is very important for us to have a balance diet, even there are some benefits of it.
In recent years, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have chosen to be a vegetarian. They support that having a meal without fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is helpful for their bodies,
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the nature and the society. In my opinion, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
can bring us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
for several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's bodies. In this essay I will discuss the pros and shortages about
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
it


There are two reasons accounting for advantages.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vegetarians
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is unhealthy to obtain too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and vegetable can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit. As we know, over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for our organs, like livers and hearts. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been killed
by heart diseases or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in every year. Then,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
vegetable may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the human race to treat those physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Furthermore
, it
also
can deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of air pollution. If we do not choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals like cattle, lamps and chickens as us food, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of animal farmings. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the dioxide from animals and transportations.

On the other hand
, most
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
vegetable cannot give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
energy for
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people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Fat
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
can provide more energy for us,
especially
, for children.

In addition
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
fish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them smarter.

On balance, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
fish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meat
is a personal choice. From my point of view, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to have a balance diet, even there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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