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some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career to whether they will enjoy they work. which do you is the best way to choose a career. v.2

some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career to whether they will enjoy they work. which do you is the best way to choose a career. v. 2
People have different views about how to choose a career. While some people decide to follow their passion, I believe that social status and salary should be key factors to be considered. To begin with, it is an apparent fact that the primary purpose of people following a job is to earn money to at least cover their basic needs. For example, people all need money to pay for housing, bill, healthcare and education. A well-paid job allows individuals not only to satisfy these needs, but also provide them a wide range of choices for their personal and family life. For instance, a person who earns a highly paid salary may send their children to costly private schools in comparison to average income others who are able to afford for public schools only. In addition, people who are highly compensated have more opportunities to pursue their hobbies, which in return, provide them the sense of enjoyment. Secondly, the reputation of a particular job is an essential factor which needs to be considered carefully. In fact, it is inherent nature of people in order to be admired by surrounding others. There are a number of occupations which are significantly respected in societies such as teachers, surgeons, soldiers or politicians. That is probably because of its significant contributions to others and societies. Furthermore, these highly respected jobs bring numerous benefits for its owners, namely, much above-average income or social relationships. In conclusion, although the sense of enjoyment is important, people should give priority for social admiration and salary when choosing career path.
People
have
different
views about how to choose a career. While
some
people
decide to follow their passion, I believe that social status and salary should be key factors to
be considered
.

To
begin
with, it is an apparent fact that the primary purpose of
people
following a
job
is to earn money to at least cover their basic
needs
.
For example
,
people
all
need
money to pay for housing, bill, healthcare and education. A well-paid
job
allows
individuals not
only
to satisfy these
needs
,
but
also
provide them a wide range of choices for their personal and family life.
For instance
, a person who earns a
highly
paid salary may
send
their children to costly private schools
in comparison
to average income others who are able to afford for public schools
only
.
In addition
,
people
who are
highly
compensated have more opportunities to pursue their hobbies, which in return, provide them the sense of enjoyment.

Secondly
, the reputation of a particular
job
is an essential factor which
needs
to
be considered
carefully
. In fact, it is inherent nature of
people
in order to
be admired
by surrounding others. There are a number of occupations which are
significantly
respected in societies such as teachers, surgeons, soldiers or politicians.
That is
probably
because
of its significant contributions to others and societies.
Furthermore
, these
highly
respected
jobs
bring numerous benefits for its owners,
namely
, much above-average income or social relationships.

In conclusion
, although the sense of enjoyment is
important
,
people
should give priority for social admiration and salary when choosing career path.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career to whether they will enjoy they work. which do you is the best way to choose a career. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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