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In many cities many people are living in apartments and condominiums. Do these types of accommodation offer more advantages or disadvantages? v.1

In many cities many people are living in apartments and condominiums. Do these types of accommodation offer more advantages or disadvantages? v. 1
These days, an increase number of people are inclined to live in a high-rise condominium or apartment more than in a house. Although it is more affordable to live in these types of accommodations, it is often can cause a cluster living and some serious problems such as fire risks. On the one hand, residing in a condominium or apartment is affordable more than living in a house. Due to few spaces are used to construct or build one condominium room more than a house which usually has a living room, kitchen, and some garden areas; people can pay less to afford a living space in such accommodation. Besides, locations of most condominiums are adventurous for people who mostly commute by a public transportation. This is because the area near a sky train or subway station mostly occupied by a condominium or flat. For that reason, it is easily to save time for going to and back from work and spend the rest time with family or favorite hobbies. On the other hand, more tension trends to happen to people living in a small space such as a unit of high-rise condominium. For example, people who live in a studio room can get very little fresh air or scarcely see green area in their room, only a square view will be offered. Moreover, with many rooms contained in one place, it is risky for fire problems. To be more precise, since many people living in the same building as yours, it is hard to control living habits of other members in your place. For instance, some may cause fire risks for just curling their hair by forgetting to turn off the curling equipment. In conclusion, even though it may be money saving for buying one unit in a high-rise condominium more than a full-space house, it probably causes some mental problems or serious issues such as tensions and fire risks.
These days, an increase number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
or apartment more than in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Although it is more affordable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these types of accommodations, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
can cause a cluster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious problems such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

On the one hand, residing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
or apartment is affordable more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. Due
Did you mean "too"?
to
few spaces are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct or build one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
more than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
which
usually
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, kitchen, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
garden areas;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay less to afford a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
space in such accommodation.
Besides
, locations of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominiums
are adventurous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
mostly
commute by a public transportation. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the area near a sky train or subway station
mostly
occupied by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
or flat. For that reason, it is
easily
to save time for going to and back from work and spend the rest time with family or favorite hobbies.

On the other hand
, more tension trends to happen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
space such as a unit of high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a studio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
fresh air or
scarcely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
green area in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a square view will
be offered
.
Moreover
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rooms
contained in one place, it is risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
problems. To be more precise, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the same building as yours, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
habits of other members in your place.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
curling their hair by forgetting to turn off the curling equipment.

In conclusion
,
even though
it may be money saving for buying one unit in a high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condominium
more than a full-space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, it
probably
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental problems or serious issues such as tensions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In many cities many people are living in apartments and condominiums. Do these types of accommodation offer more advantages or disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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