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Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think they make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think they make the problem less important. v. 1
It is a good thing for a family to come together at the dining table to eat their meals regardless of their busy schedule. Doing this, strengthens family-bond as well as sharing daily activities with one another. For example, if a member of the family is absent, it becomes obvious to everyone present at the dining table. To eat together as a family, is to be considered as one of the first form of social activity for anyone who is a larger part of any society, irrespective of the country in which they live in. In my opinion, having a meal together as a family is not an argument of whether it's a thing for the rich or for the poor. Sitting together, especially at dinner time should be incorporated into the schedule of everyone, but more often than not, this is not the case. In my country, the busy schedule of most people, coupled with the fact that most people's parents do not get home in time, as a result of the traffic as well as the bad roads which slows down the driving. Due to all these factors, it makes it almost impossible to get home in time to sit with your loved ones at the dining table to have a decent meal. To conclude, I would like to contribute to the fact that if there were less stressful situation to and from work in my country, it will encourage more people, who didn't, or have never thought about spending time with their loved ones to begin to consider nurturing the idea of eating together as a family.
It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together at the dining table to eat their meals regardless of their busy schedule. Doing this, strengthens family-bond
as well
as sharing daily activities with one another.
For example
, if a member of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is absent, it becomes obvious to everyone present at the dining table.

To eat together as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, is to
be considered
as one of the
first
form of social activity for anyone who is a larger part of any society, irrespective of the country in which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. In my opinion, having a meal together as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is not an argument of whether it's a thing for the rich or for the poor. Sitting together,
especially
at dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be incorporated
into the schedule of everyone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, this is not the case.

In my country, the busy schedule of most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, coupled with the fact that most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's parents do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
as a result
of the traffic
as well
as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
roads which slows down the driving. Due to all these factors, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to sit with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
at the dining table to have a decent meal.

To conclude
, I would like to contribute to the fact that if there were less stressful situation to and from work in my country, it will encourage more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who didn't, or have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
about spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to consider nurturing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of eating together as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think they make the problem less important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people believe when famous people support international aid, it makes the general public think about it. Others think they make the problem less important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1