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Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion? v.2

Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. v. 2
Some people argue that in the modern society, technological advancements are increasing the gap between the wealthy and the poor while others believe that technology is decreasing the gap between them. In my opinion, certain technologies are available to all people in the society and help reduce the gap between the rich and the poor. However, certain innovations are inaccessible to the poor because of their high cost. Certain inventions and discoveries decreased the difference between people of different income levels. This is because they are accessible to all people due to their availability at cheaper rates. For example, the internet technology is available to almost all sections of the community. It is affordable to all people and certain places such as railway stations, bus stations and airport are WiFi hotspots where internet is freely available. Online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites are available to both affluent and poor people in the community and they decrease the difference between the rich and the poor. However, certain advancements in technological industry are not affordable for the poorer sections of the community. Modern medicine, for instance, is expensive. Certain new drugs and diagnostic procedures are very costly. Certain affluent people who developed cancer took treatment with a special kind of protein, which was very expensive, but had fewer side effects compared to conventional chemotherapy. Rich people can access these treatments by spending only a small portion of their income and improve their health. Poor people, on the other hand, have to spend all of their money for conventional treatments and yet there is no guarantee that their condition will improve. In conclusion, certain innovations in technology decrease the distinction between the affluent and the poor while certain developments make society more polarized. It is hoped that in the near future all technologies will be available to all people ranging from poor to rich class
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that in the modern society, technological advancements are increasing the gap between the wealthy and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is decreasing the gap between them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
innovations are inaccessible to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their high cost.

Certain inventions and discoveries decreased the difference between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
income levels. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are accessible to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to their availability at cheaper rates.
For example
, the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to almost all sections of the community. It is affordable to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
places such as railway stations, bus stations and airport are
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WiFi
hotspots where internet is
freely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
. Online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to both affluent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
community and
they decrease the difference between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
and the poor.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
advancements in technological industry are not affordable for the poorer sections of the community. Modern medicine,
for instance
, is expensive.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
new drugs and diagnostic procedures are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Certain
affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who developed cancer took treatment with a special kind of protein, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
had fewer side effects compared to conventional chemotherapy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access these treatments by spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
portion of their income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend all of their money for conventional treatments and
yet
there is no guarantee that their condition will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
decrease the distinction between the affluent and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
certain
developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
society more polarized. It
is hoped
that in the near future all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ranging from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
class
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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