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some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor and rich people. Others think it is having the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Technological advancements in every field have led overall development of world. Many think that these advances are widening the gap between upper class and lower class whereas others believe that it has reduced the difference between the rich and the poor people. I personally feel that technology has diminished the gap between people of varying standards. Those who are of the view that new technology is increasing the gap say that advance gadgets are available in the market at high rates. These products, therefore, are out of reach of the middle or the lower-class people. Products like iphone, ipad for instance, are of high value and hence majorly rich people can buy it. This way rich are able to afford all luxuries of life contrary to poor. This broadens the margin between two classes. For others, researches and inventions in technology have decreased the gap by making variety of things available for common people at low prices. Indeed, due to strong competition among the companies products at cheap rates are readily available. Computers for example, were very costly and impossible to purchase for poor 50 years ago, but now the price of computer has dropped drastically due to the developments. As a result, it has become possible for common man to afford these products. This has ultimately helped in shrinking the spectrum. In conclusion, although highly advanced luxury products have increased but at the same time technology has resulted in mass production of products and items at very low cost which are affordable equally by upper and lower class. This obviously has made different classes of people closer to each other.
Technological advancements in every field have led
overall
development of world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these advances are widening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between upper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
whereas others believe that it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the difference between the rich and the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
personally
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has diminished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of varying standards.

Those who are of the view that new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
say that advance gadgets are available in the market at high rates. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
therefore
, are out of reach of the middle or the lower-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Products
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
for instance
, are of high value and
hence
majorly
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it. This way rich are able to afford all luxuries of life contrary to poor. This broadens the margin between two classes.

For others, researches and inventions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have decreased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
by making variety of things available for common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at low prices.
Indeed
, due to strong competition among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rates are
readily
available. Computers
for example
, were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
costly and impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
for poor 50 years ago,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the price of computer has dropped
drastically
due to the developments.
As a result
, it has become possible for common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to afford these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This has
ultimately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in shrinking the spectrum.

In conclusion
, although
highly
advanced luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
have increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has resulted in mass production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and items at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low cost which are affordable
equally
by upper and lower
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This
obviously
has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to each other.
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IELTS essay Some believe that advances in technology are increasing the gap between rich and poor while others think the opposite is happening.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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