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Many people use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v.1

Many people use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v. 1
Nowadays, online learning has become an increasingly popular activity. However, while being able to obtain an education through online system allow us to do it according to own convenience and at cheap cost, it has a number of drawbacks which cannot be overlooked. The most significant benefit of online education is the convenience it offers. As this online courses are available in each field of education, meaning that youngsters are able to do it according to their free time, suitable place and with wifi network connectivity, which enables them to learn smoothly. Moreover, such online study is relatively cheap and beneficial to many students who are not able to afford university fees. For instance, in India, many students who belong to middle-class families and cannot pay their tuition fees so they prefer such online courses to continue their education as it is half of the university fees. On the other hand, there are many drawbacks of online learning which are inevitable. Firstly, online studies lack the interaction between student and teacher. As face to face interaction is indispensable in order to see where the student is doing wrong by the observation of invigilator. As a result, there are less inclined to repeat their mistakes. Furthermore, the ambience of classroom places an integral role in adult life which can never be possible to experience through online courses. For example, youngsters are usually assessed in competition through exams, which often helps motivate them to work hard to achieve a good score. Consequently, they often try to stay one step ahead than other students. Such feeling of competition assessment will assist them in the future as well. To conclude, while online learning benefits to the student by offering convenience and cheap cost to continue education, it also has to confront with downsides due to the dearth of face to face conversation and ambience of the classroom.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning has become an
increasingly
popular activity.
However
, while being able to obtain an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to do it according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience and at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
cost, it has a number of drawbacks which cannot
be overlooked
.

The most significant benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the convenience it offers. As this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses are available in each field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, meaning that youngsters are able to do it according to their free time, suitable place and with
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
network connectivity, which enables them to learn
smoothly
.
Moreover
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study is
relatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
and beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are not able to afford university fees.
For instance
, in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who belong to middle-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
families and cannot pay their tuition fees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they prefer such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses to continue their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as it is half of the university fees.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning which are inevitable.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
studies lack the interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
and teacher.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interaction is indispensable in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
by the observation of invigilator.
As a result
, there are less inclined to repeat their mistakes.
Furthermore
, the ambience of classroom places an integral role in adult life which can never be possible to experience through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses.
For example
, youngsters are
usually
assessed in competition through exams, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
motivate them to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
score.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
try to stay one step
Use "(ahead)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
ahead
than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. Such feeling of competition assessment will assist them in the future
as well
.

To conclude
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
learning benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
by offering convenience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
cost to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
confront with downsides due to the dearth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
conversation and ambience of the classroom.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Many people use the Internet as their main educational resource. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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