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Nowadays, many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self employed? v.18

Nowadays, many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self employed? v. 18
Of recent, there are several individuals who decide to be entrepreneurs instead of being an employee working for an industry or organization because of several reasons. Also, there are various demerits of being self employed which includes having a highly troubled beginning. This essay will discuss why several people opt out to be their own boss and it's accompanying demerits. There are numerous reasons why different people choose to become employers which are known solely entirely to them. In my opinion, people become entrepreneurs because of the lack of employment in the economy. Currently, in Nigeria, there is a high rate of unemployment among the citizens which accounts for its low development. For example, a friend of mine who had no job after searching for employment opportunities for approximately six years ventured into the fishery business. Likewise, there are several other individuals who fit into this category mainly because they want to make ends meet and be responsible in the society. It is a difficult profession having to be one's own boss due to the various disadvantages it possesses. One major disadvantage is having a troubled beginning. In other words, this involves being lost some times, having minimal or no support whatsoever, having no experience about such profession, and the urge of giving up at certain intervals. Using a friend of mine as an illustration, he started out as an entrepreneur venturing into the printing press. Due to several setbacks such as his inexperience, lack of support, and inability to tell what the future holds, his business was futile. As such, starting up a business is highly difficult with several unexpected circumstances and risks. In conclusion, working by oneself can be tremendously lucrative with several detriments such as lack of support and little experience. Nevertheless, most people choose the option of being self employed because of the inability to attain a job talk less of a good paying one.
Of recent, there are several individuals who decide to be entrepreneurs
instead
of being an employee working for an industry or organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons.
Also
, there are various demerits of being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
which includes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
highly
troubled beginning. This essay will discuss why several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opt out to be their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss and it's accompanying demerits.

There are numerous reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to become employers which
are known
solely
entirely
to them. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become entrepreneurs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of employment in the economy.
Currently
, in Nigeria, there is a high rate of unemployment among the citizens which accounts for its low development.
For example
, a friend of mine who had no job after searching for employment opportunities for approximately six years ventured into the fishery business.
Likewise
, there are several other individuals who fit into this category
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and be responsible in the society.

It is a difficult profession
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
to be one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
boss due to the various disadvantages it possesses. One major disadvantage is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a troubled beginning.
In other words
, this involves
being lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
minimal or no support whatsoever,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
no experience about such profession, and the urge of giving up at certain intervals. Using a friend of mine as an illustration, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
out as an entrepreneur venturing into the printing press. Due to several setbacks such as his inexperience, lack of support, and inability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
what the future holds, his business was futile. As such, starting up a business is
highly
difficult with several unexpected circumstances and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
.

In conclusion
, working by oneself can be
tremendously
lucrative with several detriments such as lack of support and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
experience.
Nevertheless
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose the option of being
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self employed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the inability to attain a job talk less of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
paying one.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays, many people choose to be self employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self employed? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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