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Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while others would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while others would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. v. 1
Certain individuals have this notion that the sole purpose of jail is to punish criminals, whereas, others believe that they are use as a rehab. This essay agrees that the main purpose of putting criminals behind bars is to make them guilty conscious, so that they realise their mistakes and take steps to correct them in future. This essay will discuss both point of views. Several people have this opinion that criminals convicting henious crime such as murder, rape and kidnapping should be put in jail in order to punsh them so that they do not repeat it again. Dangerous criminals should be given harsh punshments by the prison authorities as they are so thick skinned and lack any emotions and feelings that by making them do social activities will not change their mind set moreover, punishment is important so that when they are released in the society they do not provide any harm to people. However, many disagree and feel that criminals should be motivated to do social activities such as planting trees, helping the elderly people, making toys for orphans as this will aids in developing a feeling of love and harmony among them. Individuals believe that people who are deprives of love and respect are more prone to follow the path of crime. Once they will get back love and appreciation, furthermore will be accepted by the society, they will become a good and responsible citizens. To conclude, Although criminals should be punished for their monstrous criminal activities, some still feel that the best way to make them realise their mistake and to convert them to a good citizens in to rehabilitate them. Nevertheless, in my opinion, i vehmently agree that prisons should be used for rehabilitaion purpose in order to change the mind set of criminals and to motivate them to not to do any criminal activitiy in future.
Certain individuals have this notion that the sole purpose of jail is to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, whereas, others believe that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as a rehab. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that the main purpose of putting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
behind bars is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them guilty conscious,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their mistakes and take steps to correct them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. This essay will discuss both point of views.

Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have this opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
convicting
Possible spelling mistake found.
henious
crime such as murder, rape and kidnapping should
be put
in jail in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
punsh
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not repeat it again.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
harsh
Possible spelling mistake found.
punshments
by the prison authorities as they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
thick skinned
and lack any emotions and feelings that by making them do social activities will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mind set
moreover
, punishment is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that when they
are released
in the society they do not provide any harm to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disagree and feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be motivated
to do social activities such as planting trees, helping the elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, making toys for orphans as this will aids in developing a feeling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and harmony among them. Individuals believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are deprives of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and respect are more prone to follow the path of crime. Once they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and appreciation,
furthermore
will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by the society, they will become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and responsible citizens.

To conclude
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
should
be punished
for their monstrous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
feel that the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their mistake and to convert them to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens in to rehabilitate them.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, i
Possible spelling mistake found.
vehmently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that prisons should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
rehabilitaion
purpose in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the mind set of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and to motivate them
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
Possible spelling mistake found.
activitiy
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe the purpose of prison is to punish, while others would argue that rehabilitation is its primary role. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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