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Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.6

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 6
Affluent nations have been providing monetary support to poorer countries since the times immemorial. However, poverty is still prevailing in many parts of the world even after getting financial aid from rich nations. Hence, a school of thought opines that rich countries should provide other types of support instead of monetary help to needy nations. This essay completely agrees with this notion because due to the presence of corruption and illiteracy in poorer nation financial aid would not be helpful to eliminate poverty completely. To begin with, it must be agreed that corruption is rampant in many underdeveloped nations. In this case higher authorities and upper level officials take huge part of the monetary support by different corruption methods. For instance, nowadays, many newspaper stories have headlines about the corrupt officials who have taken major part of patronage from other nations. Consequently, financial aid does not reach to the actual poor people and poverty still exists in such nations. Providing people with materials of their daily needs is a better option than providing helping hands in the form of money. Another vital reason of my agreement is that illiteracy is still exists in many developing and underdeveloped countries. Due to this people are not aware about how to utilize the monetary support in an efficient way. They do not use that aid in a perfect way and consume whole aid in a small interval of time. For example, due to the lack of education people do not know how to start a small scale business with financial help. Hence, it would be better, if rich nations provide education to the dwellers of poorer nations. This would be beneficial for people to start a new business or to secure a good job. In conclusion, although even after providing financial support by rich nations to impoverished countries poverty is still prevailing, it is high time to switch from monetary support to other help. Corruption and lack education are the major reasons which are making results financial support futile. These things need to be addressed first.
Affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have been providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
since the times immemorial.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is
still
prevailing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world even after getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Hence
, a school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
opines that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should provide other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
due to the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
and illiteracy in poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
would not be helpful to eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
completely.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
is rampant in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
In this case
higher authorities and upper level officials take huge part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
corruption
methods.
For instance
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
newspaper stories have headlines about the corrupt officials who have taken major part of patronage from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
does not reach to the actual poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
still
exists in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. Providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with materials of their daily needs is a better option than providing helping hands in the form of money.

Another vital reason of my agreement is that illiteracy is
still
exists in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware about how to utilize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
Consider replacing "in an efficient way" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient way
. They do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
Consider replacing "in a perfect way" with the adverb for "perfect"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a perfect way
and consume whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
interval of time.
For example
, due to the lack of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale business with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Hence
, it would be better, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
provide education to the dwellers of poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This would be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a new business or to secure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

In conclusion
, although even after providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to impoverished
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is
still
prevailing, it is high time to switch from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Corruption
and lack education are the major reasons which are making results
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
futile. These things need to
be addressed
first
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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