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Some people believe that young people bring more profits to a company. Others say that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people believe that young people bring more profits to a company. Others say that older people actually bring more profits. v. 4
While, certain individuals opine that younger generations helps to earn more profits for a corporation, others feel that elderlies in fact, are the major reason for a firm profit generation. This essay will discuss both views and further, support the argument that by employing more of young individuals will help in making huge gains as they bring in a new perspective and enthusiasm in the organisations, followed by a reasoned conclusion. It is clear that several companies are more keen on hiring young professionals in the organisation because they have a vast knowledge about the latest technology along with bringing in new ideas and innovation. This is to say, young people are aware about how to use the latest softwares and machines deployed in various departments. Moreover, they give a different and a new perspective to the management which can be advantageous for a company. To elucidate, a recent study by The Times on March 2016 showed that more than 80 percent of management prefers to young employees as they are updated with technology and bring in new concepts. However, some believe in the notion that aged employees are beneficial for the firm as they have invaluable experience and proficiency. They can contribute this knowledge in boosting the productivity and profitability of the firm. As a consequence, the company will be able to generate long term profits. To elucidate, a recent study done by The New York Times showed that more than 60 percent of organisation favours older people as their employees because of expertise and high level of understanding. To conclude, while the benefits of hiring younger staff help in completing projects with efficaciously, some believe that older people help the organization's growth with their unlimited knowledge and expertise. However, In my opinion, I vehemently agree that company in order to expand their profit margins should hire younger employees because of their creative ability and passion in performing tasks.
While, certain individuals opine that younger generations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
for a corporation, others feel that
Possible spelling mistake found.
elderlies
in fact, are the major reason for a firm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
generation. This essay will discuss both views and
further
, support the argument that by employing more of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
individuals will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in making huge gains as they bring in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspective and enthusiasm in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, followed by a reasoned conclusion.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are more keen on hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
professionals in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a vast knowledge about the latest technology along with bringing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and innovation. This is to say,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the latest
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
and machines deployed in various departments.
Moreover
, they give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
perspective to the management which can be advantageous for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. To elucidate, a recent study by The Times on March 2016
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 80 percent of management prefers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as they
are updated
with technology and bring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
concepts.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe in the notion that aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are beneficial for the firm as they have invaluable experience and proficiency. They can contribute this knowledge in boosting the productivity and profitability of the firm. As a consequence, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will be able to generate long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profits
. To elucidate, a recent study done by The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
York Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 60 percent of
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of expertise and high level of understanding.

To conclude
, while the benefits of hiring younger staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in completing projects with
efficaciously
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
's growth with their unlimited knowledge and expertise.
However
, In my opinion, I
vehemently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
in order to expand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
profit
margins should hire younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their creative ability and passion in performing tasks.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that young people bring more profits to a company. Others say that older people actually bring more profits. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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