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COMPLETING UNIVERSITY EDUCATION IS THOUGHT BY SOME TO BE THE BEST WAY TO GE A GOOD JOB. ON THE OTHER HAND, OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT GETTING EXPERIENCE AND DEVELOPING SOFT SKILLS IS MORE IMPORTANT. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. v.1

COMPLETING UNIVERSITY EDUCATION IS THOUGHT BY SOME TO BE THE BEST WAY TO GE A GOOD JOB. ON THE OTHER HAND, OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT GETTING EXPERIENCE AND DEVELOPING SOFT SKILLS IS MORE IMPORTANT. v. 1
In this current world, there is a lot of competition and job are limited. Some people believe that it is of utter importance to gather experience and improve skills, while others argue that having a college is a great way to fetch a job. Although, speaking skill, builds confidence, I tend to agree with the latter argument as universities have better infrastructure to mould a person for a better career. The most significant advantage of experience and skill set is the confidence. People often feel pressurised if they lack knowledge, but experience people with the proper skill set overcome their negative's. They are aware of their strength and present themselves in a proper way. For example, a technician can assemble a computer and upgrade it whenever needed. It is because, he has the skills and experience to successfully complete this task. on the other hand, the universities create an infrastructure for an all round development of students. Nowadays, multinationals, along with Universities are creating curriculum to train students as per the industry need. Providing them an edge over other candidates, when applying for job. To illustrate this, most of the recruiters ask for a college degree, as it allows them to filter candidates and left with lesser candidates to deal with. Also, Universities have campus drive in which companies, visit college campus for recruitment and helping students to fetch a job even before they graduate. In conclusion, even though, soft skills and experience are great assets to have. In my opinion, a college degree is a must have in today's world as it not only train you for the corporate world, but also, provides a push to fetch a job.
In this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
competition and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are limited
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is of utter importance to gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, while others argue that having a college is a great way to fetch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although, speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, builds confidence, I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter argument as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have better infrastructure to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
a person for a better career.

The most significant advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set is the confidence.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurised' is British English.
pressurised
if they lack knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
set overcome their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
's. They are aware of their strength and present themselves
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.
For example
, a technician can assemble a computer and upgrade it whenever needed. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, he has the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to
successfully
complete this task.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
create an infrastructure for an all round development of students. Nowadays, multinationals, along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
are creating curriculum to train students as per the industry need. Providing them an edge over other candidates, when applying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To illustrate this, most of the recruiters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a college degree, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to filter candidates and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with lesser candidates to deal with.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
have campus drive in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, visit college campus for recruitment and helping students to fetch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they graduate.

In conclusion
,
even though
, soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
are great assets to have. In my opinion, a college degree is a
It appears that a hypen is missing.
must have
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
train you for the corporate world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, provides a push to fetch a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay COMPLETING UNIVERSITY EDUCATION IS THOUGHT BY SOME TO BE THE BEST WAY TO GE A GOOD JOB. ON THE OTHER HAND, OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT GETTING EXPERIENCE AND DEVELOPING SOFT SKILLS IS MORE IMPORTANT. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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