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Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people less socially interactive. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people less socially interactive. v. 1
Nowadays, many people think that we become less active and less sociable with the introduction of the new technology, such as smart phones, than before. Nevertheless, others believe that people have more social opportunities as we can be networked with people all over the world by using the internet. I agree with the latter opinion and this essay will discuss how this modern technology has affected our social lives. To begin with, it is true that people have less direct contact with others as we can communicate with them on the Internet. For example, we used to buy daily necessities at nearby shops and talk to shop assistants or neighbors. Whereas, we can now order almost all products online and can ask to deliver them to home. In addition to this, the way of communication at the business has been changed. Instead of visiting customers or companies, we can communicate with them via email or the online application, such as Skype. On the other hand, there is no doubt that we can be connected with people in the world anytime and anywhere due to the advanced technology, and smart phones would be the most common communication device which we use every day. As a matter of fact, we can make friends who live in a different country throughout social media. We can also talk with a family or friends even if we live in different countries. In conclusion, I believe that this modern invention has connected people world- wide. Although we may have less chance to meet with others on the daily activities such as shopping, or visiting them for business, we can now talk to people whom we could not meet with before. Rather than pointing out the drawbacks which the technology has caused, we should make the most of it.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
sociable with the introduction of the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, such as smart phones, than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Nevertheless
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more social opportunities as we can
be networked
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world by using the internet. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter opinion and this essay will discuss how this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
direct contact with others as we can communicate with them on the Internet.
For example
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
daily necessities at nearby shops and talk to shop assistants or neighbors. Whereas, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
order almost all products online and can ask to deliver them to home.
In addition
to this, the way of communication at the business has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
Instead
of visiting customers or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, we can communicate with them via email or the online application, such as Skype.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there is no doubt that we can
be connected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world anytime and anywhere due to the advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and smart phones would be the most common communication device which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
every day. As a matter of fact, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
country throughout social media. We can
also
talk with a family or friends even if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

In conclusion
, I believe that this modern invention has connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
world- wide. Although we may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with others on the daily activities such as shopping, or visiting them for business, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
talk to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whom we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Rather
than pointing out the drawbacks which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has caused, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of it.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people less socially interactive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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