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Some people believe that women should play an equal role as mean in a country s police force or military force such as the army while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as mean in a country s police force or military force such as the army while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs 2
A few individuals argued that females can perform the jobs of police force or military forces as equally as men like army jobs. Nevertheless, opponents assert that, these type of jobs are not suited to them. I will discuss both the viewpoints along with my own opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs. To initiate with perspective of some individuals, I would like to say that, today' s woman is winning every field excellently such as science, politics and education that proves, women can do every uphill task. For example, there are some honorable females such as, Kalpana Chawla an astronaut, Indira gandhi a minister of the country so, these women set an example and showed how strong a female is. In this way, the work of police force, military force are not difficult for the women as people think it is. Even, in this kind of work, women will excel by doing their best with the help of skilled and efficient brain and they clear the typical exams and able to get these jobs and do better than males. So, it is pointless to say that, they are less able to these kind of occupations. On the flip side, others opposing this view and I will further justify their point that, people think women are physically less strong than men. Their body structure is not similar as men have as well as females are sensitive and not enough strong even by heart that means, they are emotional. Moreover, training process are little tough for them because of lack of strength so a few individuals prefer men are best suited for these kinds of jobs. In my perspective, I support the former viewpoint because, I think If a female can do best in other fields so, the occupation like, army job is not enough difficult for them. However, they are less strong as compared to men but they can structured their body by doing hardwork on it and will do workouts, gymming etcetera. In this way, they will overcome this hurdle and will able to face every hazardous task or work. To conclude, although women are less powerful but it does not mean that they cannot do it. Their hardwork and heavy workouts will make them able to do thesekind of difficult jobs so it is worthless to suspect on their ability to do anything.
A few individuals argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
can perform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
or military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forces
as
Use either "equally" or "as" on its own. When comparing two nouns, use "just as".
equally as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
like army
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Nevertheless
, opponents assert that, these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are not suited to them. I will discuss both the viewpoints along with my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To initiate with perspective of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals, I would like to say that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s woman is winning every field
excellently
such as science, politics and education that proves,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can do every uphill task.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
honorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalpana
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chawla
an astronaut, Indira
Possible spelling mistake found.
gandhi
a minister of the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
set an example and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
is. In this way, the work of police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
, military
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
force
are not difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is. Even, in this kind of work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
will excel by doing their best with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of skilled and efficient
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
brain and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the typical exams and
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able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and do better than males.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is pointless to say that, they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of occupations.

On the flip side, others opposing this view and I will
further
justify their point that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
physically
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less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. Their body structure is not similar as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
have
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are sensitive and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
even by heart that means, they are emotional.
Moreover
, training process are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
tough for them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of strength
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a few individuals prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are best suited for these kinds of jobs.

In my perspective, I support the former viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
can do best in other fields
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the occupation like, army
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job
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
difficult for them.
However
, they are
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less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strong
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "structure"
structured
their body by doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
on it and will do workouts,
Possible spelling mistake found.
gymming
etcetera. In this way, they will overcome this hurdle and will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to face every hazardous task or work.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
powerful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does not mean that they cannot do it. Their
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and heavy workouts will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to do
Possible spelling mistake found.
thesekind
of difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is worthless to suspect on their ability to do anything.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that women should play an equal role as mean in a country s police force or military force such as the army while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
393 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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